This winter my husband left me. We’ve been together for 12 years and he was my high school sweetheart. When he left he claimed he just didn’t love me anymore. That my success in my career made him feel that he was not good enough for me and he truly just didn’t feel the same way about me anymore. I begged for him to work things out but he did not want to try. Since I’ve learned that he was actually having an affair for months. And that his distance was just his way of hiding it. My friends all say I’m better off without him and I rationally know that I will be ok eventually and that it will get better. But I still love him. I feel like it’s all I want to talk about and I’m worried that people will get sick of hearing the same things from me. I’m so lost I don’t know what to do.
I wish that my heart and my brain could get on the same page. I would really appreciate any advice you have.
Well, first of all I’m sorry to hear what has happened to you. I may not know you, but my heart does go out to you. Secondly, you must focus on the reality. To me, outside looking in, the reality is he got depressed and instead of talking to you, as a husband should do with his wife, he decided to seek exterior validation in the form
Of another woman. Now- this doesn’t mean he is gone forever, but you have to truly ask yourself is this someone you want back? You need to think about the life you want to have and what you believe you deserve. Everyone creates their own happiness and no one has power over you unless you let them.
I'm so sorry, Raquel. I know the struggles you're going through, and the feeling are SOO real. January 2019, my husband told me he had been thinking about divorce for many years. It shocked me. Since then things were never the same. I found out how he felt about me, for real, I couldn't lower myself to try to make things work. I just wish I would have known this earlier in my life! I would have left a long time ago. I'm 48, and I had to start everything new, job, finances, etc. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I should have never sacrificed myself so much for so little. My son is the only reason why I am keeping things civilized, but he's getting to him also. Coronavirus hasn't helped much either, cause courts and housing arrangements. But take courage. Value yourself, cause no one else will do. Get to know who you are, enjoy your own decision making opportunities.