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Re: I cant decide if I should file for divorce...

I'm very sorry to hear that is happening to you. If you read "20 Years Gone: A Divorce Story" by Dorian Wright (available on Amazon), you'll find that you can really relate with that author's story. And although the split was apparently hard for them too, it truly was for the best, and they did find someone new to share their life (and their children's lives) with.

If these cheating/flirting events have happened more than once with you and your husband, chances are pretty high that they will continue. They may have also been going on all along, as you can see from Dorian's book. Phone plan records can also be quite revealing in these situations, as Dorian also explains.

Good Luck,

Light

Re: I cant decide if I should file for divorce...

Been there...always go with your gut. There is just something about gut feelings that I have always followed and never looked back.

You deserve better...your kids will be fine. My son was 6 when we ended our marriage. Children will struggle but most important is to keep the kids seeing both parents and never talk bad about the other parent in front our your kids.

You will find someone again, yes, it is lonely sometimes but isn't it lonely now inside knowing that he is texting or with another woman? You don't want to get sick from that type of behaviour.

I would deal with many issue but cheating/trust I just can't.

Life is short, be happy, find out your inner (who you are and what you love about yourself...what do you want to accomplish before you leave this planet)?

I hope for you all the best...give you kids big hugs each day and never stop. At the end of the day it's all that matters.

I choose to be happy...you can too :slightly_smiling_face: :slightly_smiling_face:

Re: I cant decide if I should file for divorce...

I’m not saying what he is doing is ok . Because it’s not. Have you thought about some type of counseling? Maybe it could open his eyes up. Cheating is never ok but your marriage can make it if not people are willing to commit to the marriage again. He needs to earn your trust and talking to another woman makes you uncomfortable so he needs to respect your feelings and stop.

Re: I cant decide if I should file for divorce...

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I'm a child of divorced parents and alsoin a situation of not being sure of my own marriage any longer. I wanted to tell you that divorce won't necessarily be bad foryour kids. My experience isn't universal, but I love both of my parents dearly, and am actually glad they separated when I was a child. After the split they were both less stressed, and had the time and space to find their true happiness. I gained two absolutely amazing step-parents, and some step-siblings that mean the world to me. Like I said this isn't everyone's experience, but it breaks my heart to see someone pushing aside their own happiness to stay in a marriage for the kids. The kids will be okay, just make sure they know both mom and dad love them and will continue to be their family no matter what. I hope you are able to find the best path soon. I'm sorry again for the bad situation.

Re: I cant decide if I should file for divorce...

Hi, I've been in your situation too! Several years ago, my husband cheated on me with my relative. Then 2 years ago, he cheated again w/ his coworker. I've told him before if I caught you again, I will file for divorce. Again, last month when I was at work my daughter told me that my husband invited his mistress in our own home when I was @ work. I found out its the same woman 2 years ago. I've thought they stopped but they did'nt. I'm also sad because we been together 15yrs. But enough is enough! Its emotionally draining on me! We need to love ourselves! If our husbands dont have love & respect for us! We need to move on! They are not worthy of our love & time! Right now I'm in the process of divorcing him! Time will heal after this divorce. God will help us to heal in time!

Re: I cant decide if I should file for divorce...

EB that sucks! How old are you? The relationship will never be the same. He will do it again. He would probably go to therapy to please you, but do you feel, honestly, that he won't cheat again? I've been in counseling my entire married life, 19 years. I haven't been able to prove any cheating. But I have this gut feeling he just wants to meet other girls, or maybe guys. I haven't confirmed anything. But I know by the way he was treating me, I don't mean anything to him. I did read his journal and his feelings towards me... Hence now we're getting a divorce. Don't waste time. I wish I never stopped working to stay home and support his career. It was SOOO difficult to get back in the workforce. Build something for yourself and your children. The older you get, the worse it would be.