I have been married to my husband for over 15 years. We have been together for 19.
He hasn't always been perfect, he has a quick temper and tends to be a fighter and an aggressive driver. But he's been a good husband.
I cheated on my first husband and moved out after 20 years. And my current husband's wife cheated on him and left and they had a very contentious divorce. She came in the home and stole things and they would call and aggravate him. She chose to leave.

BUT when we married we were both working. I eventually took a job in another town to be near my mom after my father passed away. Husband stayed and finished up the house to get it ready to sell while I was working in the new town. I carried two mortgages while he was doing this. When it did sell, we had trouble with the buyer, mainly due to the fact that the guy was a ********, but also that my husband had done unpermitted work. This caused us to lose a lot of money during the sale and this guy eventually came back and sued us.
I felt like we had to sell to him because we were just about to lose everything.
But that house gets sold and we are both now in new town. He wasn't really working because "since I had made him move, he didn't have his workers with him to help him do siding or gutters"
He eventually took a CDL course and got his license and got a job. While driving he fell and ended up on worker's comp. and several surgeries for his knee and ankle. (2nd worker's comp of the marriage)
So he was on WC pay and then settled. That money went in bank. Apparently in his head he didn't think he would go back to work. I never heard anything that said that.
BUT eventually we are selling that home and moving back. He stays to "fix" this house up to sell. Once again we have two mortgage payments and one person working.
The house does finally sell, but we make a minimal profit at best given the money he put into it fixing it up.

Now he has been here for 5+ years and at first I supported him not working. I had my money from Mom's house and he had the worker's comp money. Long story short. He wanted to build an addition. Fine, you use that money.

So addition is gorgeous, he has still not worked outside the home. YES< he is talented, it's gorgeous and he does a ton of stuff around here, but....

last year he started getting jealous of a friend/realtor of my brother that had called out of concern over my brother. Literally maybe 5 contacts/phone and text altogether. Husband pitches a fit and starts a mental bashing that lasts for days and months. Goes back 20 years and more to our dating days, etc. (boy, to listen to him I must have been a real *****, WHY did you marry me?) He constantly is watching my facebook and wondering why I take my phone with me. I'm NOT doing anything ya'll, but he checks my phone and gets mad if people say the wrong thing on Facebook.

NOW I want out. I did not cheat on him, tired of being accused of it. I'm still working and supporting us. His money is gone into the addition. My money from mom is pretty much gone to bills and life.

He comes up with a figure of $60,000!!!! Really?? I'm so tired. Just writing this is exhausting. But for the peace of mind at this age, I just turned 62. I am going to try to do a IRA to IRA transfer. This will require a lawyer "incident of divorce". What a mess.

Oh, it's so hard for me to read it. And I'm so sorry you have to endure it. But I want you to know that you deserve the best. If your husband insults you, you need to run away from him earlier. This is an unhealthy relationship. Because you care about your family, but not care of you, is terrible. I understand what expenses are expected, and I can advise 2 things: 1)Consult with a lawyer to resolve issues related to the division of property; 2)If you want to save money during a divorce process, you can turn to any online service to get a divorce in pa. It's much faster and easier.

Wow, Shines! That’s IS exhausting. It seems like your husband has a lot of issues to deal with.

I have been marro19 years and am in the process of divorce. I read some of his journal and found out his real feelings for me, and I only read less than a years back. Who could stay with someone with such a low concept of you??!! And then a couple of weeks later, I found some journals from when we were dating. Even THEN he expressed about me the same way!!! And my question was “if he felt like that from the very beginning, then WHY did he marry me!”

While in couples therapy, he brought up stuff that had happened over 19 years ago!!! One thing on top of the other! How can you keep track of that stuff and have it at the tip of your tongue so readily??!!! It turns out he’s a narcissist. He was using me to achieve his own purposes, his own professional development, and to have someone do the house work.

No more, I decided. No one can tell me I haven’t worked hard to keep this marriage. But it takes two to tango. And it seems to me you’re investing a lot and he’s enjoying the ride. What state do you live in? Community property state? Why does he make to decide the amount for settlement?