We have been married 17 years and it has been a tough marriage - quarantine brought out the worst in my husband and I have been considering divorce for quite some time. Frankly, my husband has his own personal demons. He’s unkind and has treated our marriage like it is a pain in the ass and he hates me. But what he did this time is so unforgivable and I am so angry I don’t even know where to start. My father has severe Alzheimers that took a very nasty turn for the worse over the last two months. I have been helping provide care for him while looking for help. Last night, my husband breaks down and tells me that he received a call from a contact tracer last Wednesday (6 days ago) that he was exposed to a person who tested positive for coronavirus. Turns out...he had lunch outside at a take-out restaurant with his mother 11 days ago and that night she started to get sick. She is now in the hospital with pneumonia. She never called him when she got sick and he only learned she was sick because of the call from the contact tracer and she was his only contact outside our house. He was told to quarantine at home, away from his family (we have three kids 10,12,14) and only to leave for medical attention. BUT...he did the exact opposite. Didn’t tell us. Stayed around us and the worst part...I have been with my parents and my sick father and we ALL spent the day together on Sunday celebrating my son’s birthday. My aunt and uncle who are older were there as well as a friend of my son (who we drove in our car). I made appointments for us to be tested this morning. We have no symptoms. But I’m terrified that we are asymptomatic and still could pass it along and/or that we just don’t have symptoms yet. So...for 6 days this scumbag said nothing and exposed all the people I love unnecessarily. Now he’s sorry. Crying that he didn’t say anything. Scared about what he might have done and begging for forgiveness. I have asked him to move out. I can’t even look at him. Any suggestions on how to Handle this?

Hi Sally,
This coronavirus put everybody on a higher stress level. Everyone fear for themselves or the people they care for.

Now, if I understand what you wrote, the fact that he hid the truth on his exposure to the virus and took the risk to infect your family, was the straw that broke the camel's back, as the old saying goes. Is that right?

You said that you had a tough marriage and considered breaking it a few times already. May I ask you what hold you back from doing it? Were you waiting for a solid reason to make it happen?

Sally, if you are not happy in your marriage and that you already have tried to save it for so long, maybe it's time to think of your and your family's well being. You don't need an excuse to live the life you deserve.

Yes, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back but it shouldn’t have been. He has done many awful things before that I forgave. I have hesitated because he scares me and I fear that he will be viscous in a divorce. But this is a new low.