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Angry adult kids

I initiated the divorce. Emotionally drained of no love, support, respect. Felt like I was an employee with a job. Long story but my adult kids are extremely angry at me. Do not care if I live or die. I stayed home with them for 26 years to care and give them what they needed. Husband traveled and left all household and taking care of kids to me. Now he plays the victim. I don't know what to do to get my kids to understand I was dying inside. Now the way the treat me is devastating. I'm left out of every event, life happenings, seeing them, my grandbabies, they know nothing about what I'm doing and if I'm even around. I do not know how to handle this. Any suggestions? Has anyone else been through this?

Re: Angry adult kids

Hi Nancy,
It must be devastating indeed.

When I divorced, my kids were pretty young - 7 and 9

I was also the one initiating the divorce and my kids get angry with me too. Since they had to stay with me, they couldn't just ignore me but they reacted differently.

My daughter was crying at night and kept asking me why I left her dad. Telling me how much she misses him when she's with me and missing me when she's with him.
It lasted for a long time and it was really killing me. I felt guilty for a long time.

My son is more introvert but he became aggressive with his sister (instead of being with me).

8 years later, things have changed. They get used to the situation and accepted it.

They are angry because they are hurt and they need time to heal their pain. Communication is key though. Never be afraid of talking about your feelings.
How unhappy you felt, and how released you are now.

Kids are smart, and they can understand a lot. But when their emotion levels are too high, they have hard time to communicate and get controlled by their emotions.

Hope it helped.
Good luck :kissing_heart:

Re: Angry adult kids

I am so sorry your adult children have alienated you. My adult children are very angry with me for leaving their father six months ago. My situation is not as bad as yours as my children still invite me to birthdays, etc., but their father has cried on their shoulders and painted a negative picture of me to our children. They have said they blame me and are angry with me. They have no idea of the years of emotional and mental abuse I have endured from their father. I am just making sure I reach out to my children and keep in contact with them as much as I can. I have faith they will see that I am the same mom who has loved them and will always be there for them. Reach out to your children. Let them know you love them and that the divorce/separation has nothing to do with them. Adult children should be mature enough to understand that they need to remain neutral in their parent's relationship. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Good luck. I'll be thinking of you.