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Re: Anyone super surprised at the person they actually married being revealed during seperation?

My husband of 37 years snuck his clothes out the window, gave me kiss and a hug and told me he loved me as he has done everyday and left me...I heard from him that night and he said “I want a divorce” “I’m done” “I don’t like you”...we never had any big arguments and had marital relations the night before...I had no clue!!! It’s been 10 months and he refuses to talk about anything even remotely emotional. We have been together since we were 17 and have a houseful of memories. He moved to Oregon and is renting a room in a coworkers house. He won’t even tell his adult children where he lives...I’ve had so many emotions over the months..finally the anger is gone but the hurt and wonderment of WHY??? Seems to only get worse...

Re: Anyone super surprised at the person they actually married being revealed during seperation?

Yes! And what's worse is I spent so much time defending his actions to our teen daughter and how do you explain that without bashing him (which I really want to do!)

Re: Anyone super surprised at the person they actually married being revealed during seperation?

Don’t stoop to his level-be the bigger person and then document the abuse!!

Re: Anyone super surprised at the person they actually married being revealed during seperation?

Last week I had enough. We've been fighting a lot lately, but I really truly saw it for what it was. He's more about keeping the peace with his ex wife than his current wife. So I'm signing up to be an ex wife 😂

Let's see, I told him I would leave because I'm tied of how bad it's gotten. He said it wasn't a problem and he would just get a job.

I mentioned that I'll just stay since he can get a job if I'm not here, I guess that means he is capable of getting a job with me here.

I mentioned that rent was due yesterday, and his child support is now past due. He said I've become evil and terrible.

I called and said I would leave if he really wanted me to. I asked for a few things. I mentioned my wedding rings.

I came home and asked for them and he refused and said he "put them up"

So I asked for them again, and mentioned that it would be the last time I ask. He refused again so I walked back to his marijuana grow factor in our master bathroom and was ready to ruin it all.

Turns out, he had his 17 year old daughter put my rings in her backpack. Pretty upset right now.

Re: Anyone super surprised at the person they actually married being revealed during seperation?

My husband of over 5 years (together for over 20) went through my laptop and emails, searched my computer trying to find SOMETHING I guess to explain why I wanted a divorce. He found an email which taken out of context supported his suspicions. He not only forwarded the email to himself, he printed in out for me to see, and left the search function open on the screen to show me what he did. It was a huge violation of privacy, personal and professional. I'm in the health field and I'm doing Telework (obviously I needed a more difficult password) so client info could've potentially been put at risk. I can't say I'm shocked; but I can't imagine what possessed him to do this after we decided to get divorced. Maybe seeing me bring home boxes to start packing? Also, I felt very coerced about the alimony he had me agree to pay. In the state we live in, every divorce law says I do not owe any alimony; but I am paying an insane amount. He actually said "I thought I was leasing to own; but it turns out I was just renting", which I don't think he knows just how hurtful it was. I knew he was overly concerned about money; but this divorce has made me feel like he really was with me because I am ambitious and was waiting for when we would live a different lifestyle. I thought that was my own insecurity; but it turns out I was right all along.