I was married to my husband for 35 years. Little did I realize how stupid I was when I got married to him! I should have run away to a deserted island instead of wasting all this time with a man who is married to his toxic Italian Brooklyn controlling jealous parents! Here is a man who constantly undermined my decisions when it came to raising our children. He rather give the benefit of the doubt to his kids than trusting what I saw, heard dealt with first hand with things that were going on with the boys with school, friends, etc. He believes that that being a friend was better than being a parent! He had his father get in between our decisions. If the boys did something wrong his father would and go behind my back and give them credit cards while they were 13 and 10 and have them buy things for themselves! He believed that smoking pot drinking sex was all not a big deal to discuss with them at a young age. That if they learned about this it was a good thing! Now my son who is 28 has a grandson while he smokes pot along with his wife in the house. Meantime my ex never did this and his parents are religious hypocritical freaks! They have done so much damage to our marriage. Let alone that he himself has never grown up to stand up and become a man! He never followed what the bible says when a man leaves his home and marries his wife that they become united and moves on! He and his family have brainwashed and have enticed my boys with money! They are now tainted and poisoned by them. Now, my own flesh and blood don't want any part of me. It's disgraceful, dishearting, disgusting, frustrating. I left him once because I had one of my boys throw me against the wall when he was in his teens and curse me out. The boys would lie to me curse me out while he would talk behind my back to them. I thought by filing for separation and leaving him would wake him up. Thinking that this will make him and realize that I should not be abused or disrespected or treated in such a terrible manner. After I left I realized how terrible he was in parenting my little guy. My son was missing school and wound up getting arrested. I wound up moving back in to straighten my son out. I thank god I did! Since then he has graduated college and now has a great job. Thereafter, I tried working it out once more with my ex. However, nothing changed and he was still doing things behind my back with the kids and his family! A lot has happened over the years too much to explain and too much pain to relive all the bull****. He has taken my boys away from me the only family I have. He has taught his boys to be cruel inconsiderate to their own grandmother who has done all good things for them throughout the years. Yet, they don't feel the obligation to call or see her !! Though they have no issues with my in-laws. I feel lost alone and most of all disgusted. I ask for prayers to get through this tough time and that my boys will turn around!!

Hi Nicole,

I can only imagine how difficult this situation must be. You can separate your husband but your kids...

You must feel very lonely and frustrated at the same time.
Is that what made you try to make things work out with your husband?

I don't know this man but considering what you described, there is very little change he ever change. He has his own beliefs of how raising kids and treating his wife and he is blindly following them.
The only way he can change is if he decides to. (Usually, when it happened, it is because of a traumatic experience suddenly happening)

Hopefully, your children will realize soon what you are going through and understand you deserve better than what they are currently giving you.
Unfortunately, it seems like they have been engrained with the same beliefs than their dad's and grand-parents. So there is good chances they will just reproduce what they experienced.

Nicole, if you need to talk, please, contact me.
sophie@sophieclement.com

Meanwhile, I am sending you all the positive and loving vibes I can. :kissing_heart:

Thank you for your response and positive loving vibes. My husband (now my ex because of all this) will NEVER change! NO matter how much I try or do. I know that you CAN'T put a round peg into a square hole. Very sad to see how immature and vindictive he can be. :disappointed:

It's been two years that I also have been dealing with a mom who fell ill to Alzheimer's and is now in a nursing home. That in itself is rough when everything falls on you. Plus add COVID and the world we live in. It's the worse time for him to be a jerk and walk away. If he can't be understanding compassionate shame on him! He has no clue what the future holds and what will happen to his parent's god forbid if they fall ill.

As far as my adult children they have been manipulated brainwashed etc. Real shame and it's there loss.

I agree 100% with you when you said, "your children will realize soon what you are going through and understand you deserve better than what they are currently giving you.." :pray: :pray: :pray:

It is in God's hands. I have faith that he will take care of me.

Love your positive attitude :kissing_heart: