I don't understand...you said you want to see him more and live a better life when you have kids. He offered to work a 9 - 5 job but you wouldn't let him go for that but then you are looking to get a divorce...hmmm. If it's that important to you then be honest with him and tell him you want him home more than at work.

Is there something else that we don't know about?

Why don't you work with him at the business? If you truely love him then tell him that you want him to work a steady day job. My gut tells me something else is up and you have other reasons for wanting the divorce.

Back in the day I was 19 working at Chrysler. I hated the factory work and the shifts. I thought to myself, if I stay here then retire that means that I would be on afternoons for 15 years and not see my family (when I have one in the future). The money was great but I decided to quit then found a job paying a 1/4 amount of the wage but was steady days. I never regreted leaving that factory at all and to me I need money to live but not to make me happy. Things and marterial don't make me happy but family does.

I enjoyed watching every one of my sons ball games, soccer, etc.

That was my choice I made and smile every day knowing I made the right decision for my life.

We are only on this planet for a short time and everyone needs to be happy.

Hi JH,
It seems like your guts are trying to tell you something.

It is pretty clear that you have suffered from the lack of time your father would be able to give you. This is something that will probably be missing all your life. (though you can work on that and make it disappear).

Deep inside you, you know that you need that attention and that your husband won't be able to fill that need.
When I read that, my concern is that very often, this kind of situation is ok for a little while but eventually, they start craving for something to fill that need. That's when some people start cheating or find a different way to feel better. (shopping, eating, drugs...). I am NOT saying that this will happen to you.
I am just saying that you might suffer from this lack of attention all your life, which might make you feel miserable and unhappy.

Now, I understand also your concerns of making the right decision.
Well, yes, divorce is the right decision in a lot of situation, but what about your?

- Do you still love him?
- Do you communicate effectively?
- Beside this problem of priority, is there anything else that bothers you and make you feel you are not made for each others?
- Do you suffer from any abuse?
- If he had a different job situation, could you see yourself starting a family with him and grow old together?

If you feel like this, then maybe divorce is not the right solution for now.

What have you tried so far to better the situation?
Have you discussed different options that would work for both of you? For example, would he be ready to set up some specific times just for you. More date nights together...

It seems like he is working hard to make his business work. To be an entrepreneur requires a certain mindset, time, energy and support. Did you discuss with him about his motivations, his intentions, what this company brings to him?

I don't know the situation enough and I don't know you, guys enough. So all of these are just assumptions.
However, so far, it seems like, if you really want it, there are some things you can do to save your couple.

I hope it helped.

I was in a similar position to you. I got married in my 20s was with him for 7 years (there was an 11 year difference). We ran a business together (one that was his initially). I made his dream, my dream. I neglected all the things I could want from life to help him achieve his goals. I took on just about every role in the business.

I had a similar upbringing to yours and could see the patterns repeating in this relationship. I too, couldn't do it to my future children. In the end, I made the choice to leave - well to be honest, I just had nothing left in me. We'd talk and seemingly agree to change things and make things better, but the changes wouldn't last long. My feelings were second to any problem he was facing. I gave our relationship chance after chance (for 7 years).

I think you have every right to consider divorce. If he isn't willing to make concessions with his dreams for you (as you have been more than willing to), then it really shows where his priority lies.

I'd say think about the future family you want, and if he has shown to be capable of being the person you need for yourself and your future children. You're still young enough to try it again (if you wanted).

Find a counsellor or someone who can help you work through these childhood wounds as well... it's been an amazing experience for me.