Vent: Going through a divorce with our two kids but now he says he wants them
Hello!
So yeah, I married the wrong man. I had very low self worth and married the first guy that looked at me. 10 years later we have 2 kids and I couldn't take his constant "disappearing" and literally telling me in therapy "I just don't care about you and how you feel." We called it quits.
He got everything... I mean all the stuff and I got the kids and our dog. We sold the house and each got whatever was left after all our debt.
Now it's been 5 years later. My kids are 10 and 7 and my dog has passed away. My sister told me that I should finally get a divorce and so I did. Thinking it be a lighter divorce since he's never shown more interests in our kids.
Obviously not the case.
He now wants them 50/50 and has been sending me lawyer letter after lawyer letter of how he shouldn't have to pay as much for them and now I've gotten a letter that because I work long hours that I'm an unfit parent.
I feel crushed and defeated. I'm not perfect, but I honestly want him in their lives but not 50/50. He's never cared about education, their lives, clothing or anything. He keeps saying he's a great dad but when my oldest broke his arm he was to busy to go to the hospital with us.
I feel really deflated. Every week I get another letter saying how I suck by his lawyer. It's really hard. My lawyer says this is normal but it's really exhausting.
I feel so alone and deflated. I'm totally broke. And people are telling me I should get used to the idea of sharing the kids 50/50... which makes my heart bleed tears.
Re: Vent: Going through a divorce with our two kids but now he says he wants them
Ouch! This hurts and I can totally relate to the feeling of fighting and being broke. I'm over 60,000 in my divorce really hasn't started. It sounds to me like divorce is never a solution but just a different set of problems. I never understand how courts give 50/50 custody to someone who would never want custody if it wasn't based on time shared and payment. The motivation to have time with your kids should not be based on how much money you have to pay and that if you have them more time you pay less. Always remember you become what you surround yourself with and for me the money received is not worth my child being surrounded by people who don't share decent values and morals.