Does he have delusions of grandeur because he feels inadequate in who he really is/what jobs he’s had, so he exaggerates wildly to impress other people?
If it’s you he’s lied to consistently for years...that’s a different scenario all together. Being straight-forward and honest with each other to build a trusting, mutually-respectful partnership is a basic ‘marriage 101.’pretending you’re someone you’re not to your spouse and continuing this fabrication for a long time in the relationship, is not only dishonest, it’s pathological lying also, which can be an indicator of a personality disorder. Do you know much about his upbringing/his past?
Some guys wildly exaggerate during a midlife crisis to attract females for affairs. They can invent a whole imaginary persona to ‘impress the ladies.’ Often buying a flashy sports car, suddenly dressing differently/younger/‘richer-looking’ etc. Did he lie to impress/get the woman he’s been cheating with? Is this a pattern of behaviour?
What do YOU want now? If he’s been lying to you for years, dump his sorry ass and get someone who is honest, respectful and authentic with you instead. You deserve no less. No point in being dragged along in someone else’s ‘make-believe’ world that includes an affair (or potentially more...)
He did have a hard life growing up, at least from what he’s told me. I don’t know if those stories are true. I’m thankfully I’m therapy to move through this, it’s difficult.