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Separated

Hi, I want to remain unanimous.
I’ve been married for 17 years. My soon to be ex filed for divorce last year in Sept 2020.
I am hurting and told him we should not communicate. On and off since then he finds a way to text or email me. Mainly about some bills and his situation. What should I do??

Re: Separated

Hi,

Respond to texts about anything practical that needs to be dealt with around joint responsibilities (eg bills/parenting etc), but simply don’t respond to anything else. Consider getting a new phone with a different number if you can afford it. Let all your contacts (friends, work, IRS etc) know you have a new number, but don’t tell him. Eventually, he should be the only person still contacting you on your ‘old’ number, so you can pick and choose if/when you reply.

Sort out the legitimate things that need sorting (bills etc), then just block him altogether (if there’s no shared parenting arrangements). You can block his emails (set up your in-box to auto send them to the ‘spam/junk’ folder and block his texts/calls by creating a contact under the phone settings, then blocking the number (scroll down to see ‘block caller’ and select this option).

If you’re feeling harassed by him, get your lawyer to write to him informing him that all future correspondence needs to go via them to you, and that he mustn’t contact you directly or this may be construed as harassment (like I say; unless he’s trying to make arrangements with you regarding shared parenting/custody pick up and drop off times which might be deemed an acceptable ‘fair enough’ action on his part, so long as he’s not threatening/abusive towards you...

Re: Separated

If you are feeling harrased you can add a requirement to your divorce for communication to occur only in a tool. I highly reccommend

https://coparenter.com/

or

https://ofw.ourfamilywizard.com/ofw/login.form

If you segragate his communication from the rest of your life it can be very freeing. Also he is forced to speak nicely because all content in the software is court admissable and recorded forever.

OFW is older, I use this one because coparenter didn't exist but I think coparenter is nicer.

Good luck.