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Divorce not finalized

Hi Everyone
My first time on this forum
I am 60yrs old and my ex is 63 yrs old
I filed for divorce about 6 months ago after being married for 34 years from a husband that have been treating me with no respect , controlling and have no emphatic with my adults kids or others ..my kids are my life and always been I am so proud of them of what they became they are successfully; hard workers ; no drugs , responsible ,respectful to others etc....
My adults kids did not have any relationship with his dad.....because he was controlling and they were afraid to talk to their own dad (he lost his whole family)
And I just found out he is already dating someone his age more or less ...even though my divorce is not finalized (the reason that is not finalized is because he is not providing his lawyer the disclosure of assets (which is high assets which we build together with our hard work) and he said to his lawyer he has been sick, which is a lye how can he found someone so quickly .... (kind of silly question - I guess ☺️)
Why can’t he just provide the information requested and be done with the divorce so each one of us can go on with our lives. Should I mentioned to my lawyer that he has been out of town with his new lover since he is lying to his lawyer he had been sick and he requested an extension to provide what needed to be provided ? (I have proof of the video showing the new lover and him holding a bottle of wine )
It is hard but finally I had to realized I had enough of him treating me with no respect .... my Kids and Friends always mentioned that I should have leaved him long time ago.... sometimes I used to think that too but never had the guts to divorce him ...
Greatly appreciated for any response from my life story
Good Luck to Everyone in this forum that is going through a divorce
I wish them well and strength 🙏

Re: Divorce not finalized

I can understand a bit what that is like. My ex, during the divorce, dragged it out by going on vacations with the new woman in his life and also lying about assets. I thought we only had a joint bank account, which I didn't get access to and he said all his work money went into. During the divorce the amount in that account was very little, and he had a separate account with only his name where most of his money went, so that he could spend it on things without me knowing or having access to it. He also lied to his lawyer about assets.

If your ex is lying to his lawyer, I'm so glad you are getting divorced because he must have lied to you and your kids in other ways. I learned that the divorce outcome is not fair. I deserved more money, the house, etc., but to put an end to things I didn't fight as much as I could have for more assets and wanted to move on.

I would be careful about telling his lawyer stuff. I was tempted to tell his lawyer about his expensive vacations he was doing during the divorce process, but you need to remember that his lawyer will do ANYTHING to put him in a good light and telling the lawyer won't do much. Things might get ugly, he might get personal and claim things about you that aren't going on. He does not seem to care about you at all at this point, unfortunately.

I am so glad you made the choice to leave, after so many years together. I hope you can find some peace and closure, but even if you don't, you won't have to deal with him anymore.

Re: Divorce not finalized

Hi Jen
Yes
You are right
It makes sense what you are thinking Thank you
It is hard to think about all this thing that is happening ....hopefully I will be in peace and go on with my life If he keeps lying and dragging the divorce do you think I should tell my lawyer ? Do you know usually how long this kind of divorce can take ?
My thinking the way my ex is reacting now is because he does not like to be alone that is why he found someone so quickly (desperation) ...he is not only fooling one lover that he has been going out with now... he have another widow lady my ex and I know for over 3 years I heard him saying to her (where have you been all my life) how could he ???? 😡 be so low
In general Why husbands do this to their wives why? Just be truthful if man does not want to stay in a marriage say so up front right? Instead of doing behind our back ...
There are times I suddenly cry and feel sad even though I have a loving caring family and friends, this happens when I listen to a love song
(By the way a little over 10 years ago he had an emotional affair and I forgave him when we both when to court when I filed for separation than)
How can man be so cruel to us Ladies after being so loyal to the man we loved and cared for in our entire lives...

Love and Peace ✌️ to All




Re: Divorce not finalized

Hi
Why my ex husband is taking his time to provide to his lawyer the disclosure of assets after I filed for divorce ... if I was able to provide this documentation couple of months ago to my lawyer
He is giving his lawyer excuses that he has been going to the doctors and not feeling so well....because I do know that he is actually out of town....he is a liar
He does have some problem with his health but he still can drive, walk and can take care of him
Why man drag divorces?