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Complex PTSD and divorcing spouse you love

I (27F) recently told my husband (27M) that I want a divorce. We’ve had our fair share of issues that contribute to the decision but I also am trying to work through CPTSD which complicates the decision. He has started making major life changes that I have been asking about for years and thinks that should be enough to save our marriage. There is a huge part of me that wants to be on my own due to trust issues but mostly because I have never taken care of my own well-being or addressed my trauma. I had a large majority of my childhood (12+ years) taken from me due to major abuse and now that I’m finally addressing it I’m having a bit of an identity crisis. I tried to explain to my husband that I need to be alone to figure myself out but he has a hard time understanding how love isn’t enough for me right now. He says that he thinks it’s a bad idea for me to be “alone” but the times I spend by myself seem the most clarifying and I feel most like myself. I still love him and he is a good guy but I need to do this for myself in the long run. Has anyone else gone through something similar or have any advice? TIA.

Re: Complex PTSD and divorcing spouse you love

You swore an oath. Now you want to break it because it requires effort you didn't anticipate. Your word means nothing. You can be everyone else but your own concience. Sounds more like an excuse than a reason. Take the cowards way out. You sound like the person who drinks the water on the life boat when everyone else is sleeping.

Re: Complex PTSD and divorcing spouse you love

BS

Re: Complex PTSD and divorcing spouse you love

Everyone else

Re: Complex PTSD and divorcing spouse you love

Wow, "Carol" is really trolling. Pretty pitiful.

I hope you are in therapy to work on your CPTSD. Has he come to any of your sessions. Can you two go to counseling together?
Would creating some space in your marriage for a while help while you work on yourself? Separate bedrooms, separate space, go stay with a family member for a while...
It sounds like he is trying to help you or make changes to save the marriage because he loves you and values your marriage.
Can you let him? Maybe in a therapy session you can work with a therapist to define boundaries, detail what you need right now and what works for him also.
Having a third party assisting can really help.

Good luck!