Hello! I hope you know many of us know what you are going through. It is unfortunate that our world has made it so easy to access pornographic material in so many ways. I have been through this myself and there is nothing worse that the fact of knowing the person you love prefers imagination over you, and in addition to that, how can any of us compete with u realistic serial occurrences that are anything but intimate.
Do not feel sorry for how you feel and do not allow him to convince you that nothing is wrong. He is very much hurting you and even himself mentally. But you have to understand that you cannot force him to change. My advice would be to take some time to yourself away and figure out exactly what you want and need. No matter how it goes, it is going to hurt somewhere down the path, but when you finally reach your destination you find that sense of inner peace and joy you are searching for. You are not responsible for his actions, and you do not have to accept his gifts. Just politely say no thank you and stick to your morals and beliefs that he knows you have. He married you with those morals and beliefs in tact, so he knows exactly what he is doing.
Stay strong and know that you are cherished and loved by God. Lean on him and find time to meditate and clear your mind daily.
A lot of men do watch porn. Men who reach midlife and beyond and who wouldn’t necessarily stand a hope in hell of having a buxom woman sexually, find it exciting. But-of course it’s pure fantasy. All make-believe-I mean, some of the storylines are just so fake that they’re utterly laughable.
The issue is though, that he’s not just engaging in watching porn-he’s also belittled and insulted you. Calling you ugly etc, is very hurtful. No doubt he’s no longer any ‘oil painting’ either: Age impacts everyone’s hairline, waistline etc etc. (unless you’re rich enough to get constant surgeries…)
I hate to say, but I’m going to be frank: You we’re out of town for a long time. Do you think maybe he took his fantasies to another level and had an affair and/or met up with a hooker? Maybe the gift offerings are his guilty conscience?