Decision is made... now to strategize my safe exit
You can only have immense hope and avoid the obvious for so long. I know what I know, and that is that this is NOT where I belong.
I have (foolishly, I know) placed every egg in this basket and am starting from less than nothing (no car, no income (I get social security disability direct deposited ~ husband manages (aka SPENDS) all of the money) nothing at all that is my own. "Things" mean nothing to me, so that isn't an issue. I have rebuilt from nothing before... though living on my measly income is HARD. It is a precarious position to be in.... he is rageful, volatile, and will not easily let me go.)
I am entirely at a loss for where to start, though excited to be completely open to moving forward (though I know it will take significant time)... It's like being a kid and getting to figure out where you want to be and having a wide open (ish) map available...
I fully believe that though greatly limited and restricted, I have so much opportunity ahead.
Re: Decision is made... now to strategize my safe exit
Hello, Anonymous.
It is so great to see that you are mentally prepared and even excited. I can only imagine all that could have occurred to get you to this place of complete certainty.
While none of us could really give you a full list of what you "should" do because we can't fully know your circumstances, I do hope that you find some great suggestions and resources.
My first suggesting would be to start putting cash back. Even if it is just a little change at a time, stash it away. When it comes time to make an exit, you want to be prepared. If the situation is as strenuous as it seems, having any type of funds to fall back on will make you feel more secure in leaving immediately.
If at all possible, have a "go bag" prepared. In the bag have one or two set of clothes, an extra tooth brush, socks, etc. Put it in a place that is easily accessible to you and will go unnoticed by him. I do not know you circumstances, but how I was reading what you wrote it seems as though you spouse is unpredictable and hostile. Nothing wrong with being prepared.
If at all possible, if you come across a good amount of money, take it to a bank and open an account in only your name. Make sure it is a bank he does not use. Make sure to let set all your correspondence from the bank up to be sent via email, not to your mailing address.
Speak with close family and friends and start surrounding yourself with positive support. I would encourage you not to involve anybody that also speaks to your spouse on a regular basis. Keep your circle very small, but strong so that you always have somebody to turn to.
Stay positive and stay focused on all the opportunity and greatness that awaits you in your new life.
Re: Decision is made... now to strategize my safe exit
If he is physically abusive the first step would be 911. Hell I will call for you. But if there is no physical abuse...you seek a women's transition shelter or family member. Leave. Get you a good ole restraining order. Get your disability. A women's shelter should be able to help you with it all.