Hi, until you’ve seen a lawyer yourself, and as you’re the main breadwinner by the sound of things, I’d set up a new bank account in your name only if I were you. Start having any wages you earn paid into this. Then, you will have peace of mind that you have money for bills/food.

You could potentially withdraw 50% of any cash in the existing joint account, but every divorce settlement is decided on its own case-by-case basis. One shouldn’t assume a 50/50 split, as that’s often not how things pan out. There’s lots of factors a court considers-such as future earning potential, what each party brought to the marriage, any health considerations re: future need, any dependents etc. Many different aspects. If you feel you can trust him to tell you the truth; share with him that you’re worried that he may take all the cash out now, and that there won’t be any money for food and bills-Then, if he reassures you he won’t do that-all’s well. If you open up your own bank account first and then ask this question. If he seems shady as if he will take all the money out of your joint account-have the ‘transfer’ page open on your account, pre-populated and ready to go and transfer 50% on the spot! As a previous poster wrote-no court official will want you to hungry, so this would be a ‘reasonable’ action as far as I can guess!

For someone who’s a lazy bum-he’s sure sprung into action hasn’t he, in seeing a lawyer before you have?! Try to arrange your own appointment with a lawyer ASAP. And start making copies of every financial balances/accounts, assets and debts you have jointly. Get anything of value appraised eg. Jewellery, any vacation home, cars, motorbikes, pensions (retirement accounts), investments etc. His lawyer is likely to start telling him to gather ‘evidence’ of all assets and debts, so be quick and get copies of everything before they may ‘disappear’ if he starts to try to hide information!

Don’t let him intimidate you after he’s seen his lawyer either. He may try to throw verbal ‘scare bombs’ at you eg. “My lawyer says, you….” But don’t rise to the bait! Don’t commit to anything until you’ve spoken to a lawyer first. Let them do the hard negotiation.

I’ll never forget reading a post on this forum that said ‘Marriage is about love. Divorce is about finances!’ Oh so true. It’s easy to get blindsided when we’re in emotional turmoil, but fight your corner for the ‘future you’ who depends on the ‘current you’ to be proactive and strong. It sounds as if you’ll be cutting a very heavy weight/load of frustration out of your life by divorcing him. Hopefully, life will bounce back to positivity after :)