I just need a place to vent and get advice. I am at my moms house with the kids now. This happens quite a bit. I get kicked out or whatever but this time I willingly left and I don’t know if I can go back. It’s too difficult. My husband doesn’t want to seem to own up to his side of things or his problems. It’s always about me and mine and yes I’ve made some pretty bad mistakes but I don’t know. I feel like I’m the only one trying and like I get zero support from him no matter the circumstances. My grandma passed away in September. My very best friend and caretaker and he just didn’t step up at all. He never tries to be romantic with me no matter how I beg. We were to have a date night and he just had his friend come over and did other things. He’s never present with me. We fight all the time. I feel completely unheard and unrespected. He always sides with the stepkids. I could go on but I will say the straw that broke the camels back was yesterday. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since my grandma died. I went to a new therapist yesterday and felt so good and positive for the first time in a long time. Then I saw my husband. Instead of listening and being supportive of my mental health diagnoses he placed more blame on me saying this makes sense as to why I’ve made his life so hard. A huge fight ensued after I said he could use therapy and make changes, too. I don’t know. It’s so very hard with two kids and two stepkids but I don’t have a desire to live with this man any longer. Everything is my fault. All. The. Time.

You deserve better! Don’t wait until you’re too old and feel like you don’t have a choice. If he loves you he should be willing to seek help and make changes. I’m sorry you’re going through this as I know it is a terrible place to be.