My husband and I are going on 5 years today and I’m honestly tired. Ever since our first year of marriage, I’ve found out that he’s cheated on me using escorts and has been sexting multiple people.
Our history is a bit complicated because I was born in South Africa and grew up in the UK. I went on a gap year in South Africa (ZA) and met him, we ended up dating then I fell pregnant with my daughter. We ended up getting married with one child at the age of 20.
I then left with my daughter to work in the UK to obtain a Spouse visa for him to come and live in the UK as life in South Africa was really hard. In this time, he lived alone and thought he could live his best life while I was working almost 6 days a week to try to get the money and the evidence to get a spouse visa.
After 1 and a half years of trying, we finally got a visa and he was flying to the UK. I had no idea what he had done in South Africa while living alone.
Soon after a couple of months living with us, he confessed to everything including escorts, sexting other people and talking to other people. He said he is changed and he won’t do it again.
To this day, he hasn’t done anything major but he still tries to talk to other people, he tries to video call to sext with people. Today I found out that he was trying to search for the same girl he spoke to in ZA to speak to her again.
Honestly I’m tired of it all. And when I find these things out, he doesn’t even care. He didnt apologise, he just said “I’m tired”.
But if we divorce, what’s going to happen to our daughter? As he is still here on a spouse visa, if we get a divorce, he will have to fly back and my daughter will stay with me. She will be without a father here in the UK. Has anyone been in the same situation? I just don’t know what to do anymore. It doesn’t even hurt anymore, I’m just waiting for him to mess up.
I’m so sorry you’ve been through this… I’m in the middle of contemplating divorce as well. He sounds like a scumbag with a sex addictions to say the least. He’s cheated on you and that’s grounds for divorce. He doesn’t care about you enough if he does that. Go on and be alone with you and your daughter. You will be happier. Maybe you will find a lovely stepfather for your daughter. If not she has you and you just need to love her extra to make up for not having a dad. You guys will be okay. Pray about it if you do pray and talk to God. He will guide you and help you. God loves you.