Have you considered that you just talk too much and he wants time alone? He has three kids, presumably a job and a bunch of topics to address with his wife. Maybe just be quiet, give him a BLT sandwich and let him alone for an hour. Trust me for most men that's all they want. Then, when the time is right, talk to him about "I really want to spend time with my girlfriends (or whatever) this weekend. Do you mind looking after the kids and doing math with them this afternoon". It's not that hard.
Have you considered marriage counseling? It really might help work through communication issues. Maybe he is saying/doing things that he thinks are showing concern or interest, but you aren't reading them that way. And maybe he needs input on what you mean when you say or do things.
Maybe a third party can help the two of you work together to meet in the middle; making adjustments to our expectations and our own actions can help change the dynamic of a relationship.
My husband and I are going through the same, but in reverse. He says that I’ve avoided being affectionate and intimate with him, and lacking in emotions, since we met over 30 years ago. I feel that his needs in this regard are above and beyond the norm due to events stemming from his past, some of which he didn’t share with me until fairly recently, and I will never meet his expectations. He won’t go to therapy with me, so we’re just in this strange cycle of him leaving at times, coming home, but asking me for time and space, and communicating when he feels like it. Have you discussed a plan around how you and your husband should communicate and navigate this?
I think I can relate. I have a very hard marriage. I am young 19 and he is 26 but we’ve been married for over a year. Not a long time but I think it’s enough to see that we aren’t right for each other. He doesn’t open up to me at all either he’s very defensive/offensive when having conversations about our marriage. I tell him what he does that hurts me and he basically just yells at me cusses at me and tells me I’m psycho crazy ***** etc… he hurts me inside so bad. Sometimes physically as well he hates when I cry it makes him angry and he hits me etc. I don’t know what to do. I’m in such a bad spot I’m emotionally damaged I feel so sad and hurt I’m constantly sobbing all day. I’m very hurt because he’s always finding his happiness in his business/work and money/success is the most important thing to him. He’s made it very clear that he would never give up his business for a normal job for me. That’s where he finds his happiness. I know I’m sensitive and need a lot but he doesn’t give me the love that I need at all. It’s getting worse by the day. I love him and don’t want to leave but all I do is cry I’m constantly having my heart broken by him. I think I’m coming to terms that I just need to leave and be on my own but it’s so hard…. I don’t really have any family and haven’t spoken to them or friends since We got married. I had a tough childhood and life growing up. I’m so broken hearted. But I don’t even know where to start. I have nothing and nobody. Literally no one. He was my everything since I turned 18.