HI,
Just a little background I am 33 yrs old, I am the mother of 3 children, 2 teenagers (13&15) and one 6 month old baby in heaven. I have been with my husband off and on since 2007, We got married in May of 2015 a few weeks after we lost our 6 month old son to sids. I have loved this man unconditionally through all these years in the begginning he cheated and lied constantly and done alot of things that should of made me leave but he had a messed up life and he had been taken advantage of by a girl that was 7 years his senior who used him for his money got knocked up when he was 15 he quit school to take care of her and the kid and she didnt even work she was 22. She ran around sleeping with all his friends while he was working nights just aweful things, so I felt like he didnt know any better because this was all he ever knew. I was determined to fix him and prove to him that someone could love him and not want anything in return and I did. He had nothing when I met him she had took everything and destroyed his credit, I built him back up, he cheated on me with her when i was pregnant with our son. he was texting and calling her when either I was or he was at work non stop. He really broke me and still to this day if she calls and asks him to do something he will jump hoops to do it. but with me he doesnt even care to take the time to try to make me happy, its like ive made myself his doormat like i just am here to bend to his will. He disrepects me in any situation that involved other females even strangers, he has made me look dumb, embarassed me, and just flat out rubbed in my face another girl was so sweet. He says he loves me and we get along fine as long as I dont need anything emotional from him or we dont get in any awkard situations with females who are *****s and very flirty. I feel so stupid all the time, Im jealous of my dogs and neighbors, because he is considerate and caring about them we can go somewhere and say we see a bale of hay.. he will say i wonder if we can get that thatll be perfect for the dogs, he rides them on the dirtbike, golfcart, everywhere but I cant get him to do anything I need let alone want, He will stay in bed watching tv all day while I am at work, time i walk thru the door he gets up and dressed and is outside until he literally cannot stay awake then he comes gets in tub and mosts of the time sleeps in the tub for a hour or two. If i go outside he moves to a different part of outside. I am so tired of feeling like I am nothing. but this is the love of my life the only man ive ever lived with the father to my kids, and all i want is for us to be happy. Am I being crazy? should these things not bother me? I dont know how to feel anymore.
Kristi, it sounds like you and I are in similar situations. I met my husband when I was 16 years old, I am 36 now, and we have been together ever since. When I got pregnant with my now 17-year-old daughter, my husband cheated on me with a 40-year-old woman. Then, while I was pregnant with our now 14-year-old daughter, he had an affair the entire time. I forgave him each time, and really thought he'd change his ways. However, now he decided to separate, 3 months ago, because he met a new girl at the bar, that he decided was more important than his family. I have learned that no matter how hard we try, we can never "fix" someone. They are who they are, and at some point, we need to see our worth and know that we deserve better.