I do not know Why?
Even though I am married for over 30 yrs , but the last 20 years I have been feeling lonely even though we are together.
We do not talk much and it has been just a daily routine , it feels that I am living by myself.
I feel like I rather live alone that being in an lonely relationship, I even do not know WHY? I am staying in this marriage.
We do get away 3 times a year going traveling but I still feel lonely.
I am 60 yrs old and I feel confused 🤷🏻♀️
Sometimes I feel like leaving this marriage and live on my own better and sometimes I feel like staying because I invested in this marriage for a long time and since my husband does not have any extended families he will be by himself.
Any Suggestions?
Thanks in advance
I feel for you and have no advice for you unfortunately. I can tell you though that actually living ALONE is, at least for me, excruciating. At least you have someone in the house and someone to travel with. Now have no one. I have no extended family here but will be moving near family once the divorce is finalized. I don't know what your marriage is like other than feeling lonely. I was married to a covert narcissist. It had to end.
I couldn't stay. But, he's still in our home and I'm in a small apartment and the loneliness is crushing at times. Best of luck. Never an easy decision.
I’ve been feeling the same way. He’s the only person I’ve been in a real relationship with. He has no family, no I don’t either. He’s got mental illness and it has made it to where we can’t stay together because of how he treats me
Ahhh Jordan: Your situation sounds like a different 'kettle of fish.' Is he getting support for his MH situation? If it's not safe or healthy for you to stay in the relationship, then it makes sense to start planning your exit. You can, if you would like to, speak with him and services about having support workers come in to care for him/clean the house/prepare meals etc.
It's sad if someone has a MH issue, but doesn't mean you have to martyr yourself. We only get one chance at life. If you've supported him but he's now affecting your mental wellness negatively, it makes sense to look at 'getting out.' 'Better' to have 1 person than 2, experiencing poor MH. (And I know that sounds crass, but it actually makes sense 🌸)
I wonder if it's possible for you to socialise outside the home a bit more? It might break the routine/silence/dullness up a bit if you, and/or he, could have separate hobbies and interests? It might be healthy/helpful for you to have opportunities to get out and about to meet some new social circles? It might help stimulate conversation too, if you have new topics to chat about when you both get back home from separate activities?
Does your energy level match his, or are you more outgoing? How about going swimming/joining a book club/walking group/coffee and chat group?