Hi everyone. This is really new to me, though it shouldn’t be. I guess I should have been looking at this a long time ago. This week, after our nine year anniversary, my husband has decided that it’s time to divorce due to his mental illness not being controllable to our marriage. I’ve become so upset and distraught from it I don’t eat or drink. I’m 27 he’s 39 and we’ve been together since I was 18 and pretty much every week or definitely every month he turns on me and makes us go without speaking and talks down to me and all I do is try to help that’s all I’ve ever done and he says I’m worthless and there’s so much I want to say and I have no friends or family due to the relationship and I did not plan on going to a group but I just really want someone to talk to

If there is emotional and verbal abuse, please don't tolerate that. No marriage is worth being abused. No one should talke down to you, even when you mess up. People make mistakes, but that doesn't mean they deserve to be hurt.

Is he in therapy?

I am so sorry you're going through this. I know it's painful as I endured it for 7 years. I've been with my husband for 13 years, but once I started standing up to him, the devaluing began. He's a controlling narcissist and an alcoholic. You deserve so much better and at 27, believe me, you will find it. I'm 62 and there's little hope for me. But, better to be alone than be with an abuser.
Do your homework on narcissism and find a good therapist. Those 2 things have helped me. I'm 4 months post leaving my husband so still have a long way to go. Be kind to yourself. No matter what you or I did, there is never an excuse for abuse.