What do you consider verbal abuse ?
I need examples!
What do you consider emotional abuse too?
I need to know examples!
What are the ground of divorce that a person will not give him a chance ever?
I also need examples !
Please
I have searched online , but I am still confused 🤷🏻♀️
Thanks 😊
getting angry, yelling and screaming at you - then telling you that it is your fault that they acted that way. My ex- would tell me it was my fault because I said "XYZ" to set him off.
getting angry at you for no reason
holding you hostage with their outbursts - my ex- controlled my behaviors out in public because if I didn't agree with him or do what he wanted, he would make a scene yelling at me, so it was easier to go along with whatever he wanted.
Whenever they get upset or frustrated with something/anything - taking it out on you
criticizing you and putting you down; criticizing you when you start doing something positive for yourself. My ex- would say ugly things to me when I left the house to go to exercise class. He would criticize or belittle me when I started getting my hair colored.
He would be jealous or angry if I left the house to do something with my sister or friends.
Are you changing what you say or do to avoid his behaviors? I edited everything I said to him, talked to him only when I had to because I never knew what would set him off and it wasn't worth it.
Thank you so much for answering
My husband gets mad for silly stuff that does not have to turn into yelling or cursing sometimes...
That is why I avoid talking to him about something that will turn into yelling ....
Something Similar you mentioned in your story , If I do not agree with him he will yell at me At home just because I did not agree with him just because I am his wife he want me to agree with him all the time.
He tells me sometimes that I am never on his side just because i do not agree with him (we are never on the same page)
Does it get worst as you get older?? Or will stay the same ?
I am so sorry that you are going through this.
To answer your question, it does not get better on its own.
We did go to marriage counseling; which he would do if it was about "us", but as soon as our therapist tried to speak to him about his behavior (he would put me down and criticize me in front of the therapist), he would get mad and defensive. It could be "our" problem, but not "his".
I started going on my own, which made a huge difference. My therapeutic advice was basically "grow a pair" and "stop being such a doormat." I started standing up to him, telling him his behavior was unacceptable, my therapist recommended that if he started getting too bad to just grab my car keys and leave the house.
I got to where I could just stand there and look at him as he yelled and raged at me; I didn't respond, get upset or cry like I used to. I was able to emotionally disconnect from him.
Since our divorce, I am so so happy! I live in peace and quiet in my own home, it is fabulous.
Now, since our divorce he has gone to therapy and is taking appropriate medication. We are able to get along and do things together with our children. He would like to get back together, but that will never happen.
But it really took my filing for divorce to give him the "kick in the head" that he really needed help.