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Good Morning
I was in an long marriage (34 yrs) and I filed for divorce September 2020 and the divorce has not been finalized because of the division of properties that we have been debating who will get what . I have not talked or seen him since September 2020 . The communication have been only through Lawyers.
He already had some health problem during our marriage , but it seems that is getting worst (but he still can take care of himself) he feels tired and weak at times., because of his heart condition.
Every time he goes to the doctor he will text me saying
This:
(the doctor found out that he needs an surgery to repair his heart valve leak and there is a 40% survival that a person will live only for 1 yr) and he will text me also saying ( Why am I telling you all this if you do not care)
I know he is not making up ...
the only thing I responded in my text to him
(Leave it up to God hand)
Unfortunately I need it you file for divorce because he threatened me and he was controlling and he has some narcissist symptoms, I could not handle his ways anymore.
And during my life with him I forgave him when he had an emotional affair with someone I knew, even though he said nothing happened.
I feel my life is peaceful now and I do not have to put up with him anymore.
I do feel sorry for him because he has no one, even my adults Daughter and Son does not want to have any kind of relationship with their own Dad .
Why???? He keeps texting me if he knows that I do not want to know what is going on with his Life .
I do not understand why he does that?
(He is 64 years old )Being a crying Baby and texting me about his health issues ,
Whatever he is going through can happen to anyone.
Gracias in advance for replying.
Married 34 years...He's probably missing you and trying to guilt you into going back to him. Does he have any other close family members who can check in on him/ask how he is? Maybe that would help take the pressure/attention off you???
I agree with Becky, it sounds like he is trying to guilt trip you in taking him back and caring for him. Unfortunately, I can definitely relate to Narcissistic ways, my spouse is the same way. He finds any reason to play victim to everyone else and to me at times, but fails to share or accept all the things he did for me to make the divorce decision.
What has been helping me alot is distractions. I signed up for the gym and started going daily and I do a lot of outside activities. Maybe keeping your mind off things will help.
I've had to communicate to my spouse SEVERAL times to give me my space, maybe communicating it to him a few times won't hurt as well. Are you comfortable with blocking him? Or making his communications not show as notifications?
Hi
I cannot block him because we still manage our business together....and I do not feel comfortable talking to him because I do know that he will manipulate me to get into his life ...And right now my life is more peaceful .
I just wish him that he will have his own life to live and I will have my .
Getting sick can happen to anyone ...we just have to think positive
Thank you for your suggestions
Hello
Since we still manage our business together we only comunícate with texts if it is important ....I know that a handiman that works for him only Has been taking him to the doctors appointments and also kind of caring for him in the same time .
The reason I know that is I seen the online banking for the joint account that we have and he is paying him check and the memo says (home care)
I am glad and relieved that someone is helping him.
He has a sister but her husband does not get along with me ex and I do not know if they have been in contact.