Hi everyone, I have been part of the group for a while just reading people’s situation and I never had the courage on posting mine. Maybe because I have been in denial? Maybe because I still love him and been hoping for a miracle.?
Well I lost it all yesterday. I will explain.
Background:we were together since I was 17 years old. Meet him when he was living with his mom. and he had a small twin bed. I use to sleep with him. He is 5 years older than me. As a naive girl I had no idea how hard a marriage was. We both came from broken families but at the time I didn’t care. I was hopeful. I pushed him to be better,maybe to much? I saw so much potential. Through the years I pushed and pushed we made it to having two properties.We had the house the daughter we lived comfortable financially. my dad past away in October so I wasn’t well mentally. So I had to quite my job. I obviously asked him if that was ok. He said that was fine. My dad didn’t have much all he left me was a truck a Ford 🥰. I saw my husband struggling so I sold the only thing I had from my dad to help him out. I have never been the type to not work. I felt like I needed to contribute. Before I walked away. We had an issue with our tenant something went wrong with the furnace. After making ALL the decisions not only at home but just with what happened to my dad as in funeral arrangements; I was so exhausted. That day with our tenant I needed support I needed my husband. When I asked him what we needed to do he didn’t reply. So I took care of it ;like I always did. After that he blamed me about the choice I made with picking that tenant. Because I took care of that too. Well that same night after he said that;he got a text from his friends saying that if he wanted to hang out? He replied with “yes he needed a guys day”
That was it for me. I NEEDED him, I was done asking someone for the bare minimum.
Well I moved in my moms, 3 days after that he didn’t text me anything. Nothing at all. The only time he reacted concern was when he felt threatened. I opened a Snapchat that he was able to see my activity.To get a reaction. Well he ended things that day. Accusing me of cheating.
Yesterday, for Easter we had a get together for our daughter and he was texting away with someone. It broke me. It has only been a month. Because of family issues his mother has allowed me to live with her. I get my own apartment on May 1st so for now I am staying with her.
He hasn’t filled for divorce. I am just waiting now because the longer he waits my stupid heart still believes that he will try.
Why wait passively like a sitting duck? In 3 days of you leaving, he didn't even try to contact you, plus now he's already texting someone else?! I think he probably already mentally had 1 foot out the door, a long time ago :(
You say you needed his help, but he didn't reply. You dealt with the situation on your own therefore, but rather than praise you, he picked a fight/blamed you for the choice of tenant. Why didn't he reply at the time? Where was he? Who was he with????
I'd be mentally setting a 'deadline.' For example-"If he hasn't made any effort to reconcile with me within the next two weeks (which is plenty of time), then I'll take it our marriage is over and I'll file for divorce so I can move forward and create space in my life for someone new to come into my life who will be kind, loving, loyal and to whom I'm attracted." In the meantime, can you look at getting legal advice? Can one of you keep one home and the other move into the investment rental maybe? See a lawyer in case he's already running to one! Know your rights.
You never know, he may come back to you-but if he does-how would you feel about that, given he may have been texting another woman? (Or maybe it was just a friend and not an affair?)