It seems like your husband has a porn addiction and most likely has cheated on you. I think you deserve better. Men don't appreciate what they have until its gone.
Don't let yourself be treated like this. No man is worth putting up with the misery and pain he is clearly bringing you.
At your age, you should just be happy. Focus on yourself. Spend time with your friends. Find what makes you happy without him. He will either realize that he doesn't want to lose you and actually change or you will be able to go your separate ways and enjoy retirement instead of living with so much stress, and emotional turmoil.
Sounds to me like your husband has a severe porn addiction, one he’s had for years. You said 10 months to retirement, would that be you retiring? I am also waiting to divorce my husband, I’ve caught him having an affair, he swore to end it but hasn’t after 2 years. I know he still hasn’t ended it and I can no longer forgive. So, I am waiting until I can manage to be on my own, by the end of this year. I figure, better alone and happy than constantly being lied to and married. If your husband can’t see how this is affecting you and your marriage and takes no effort to get help, he doesn’t deserve your commitment, attention and love.
Dear Diane,
thank you for responding to my post.
Well this is not an easy place to be in...., that is for sure.
I feel the worst is the lying..., right in your face...., even when the facts are undisputable. One one hand you want to believe on the other you know he is lying...again. And has been for decades. You feel like you are going crazy, your emotions are all over the place, from depressed to hopefull to anger all happening during the same day. Now my husband is working 7 days a week, not time to do anything together that takes longer than 2 hours. I was begging him to make time so we can repair this somehow, no response on his side. And why should he..., clothes are washed, dinner is on the table, house is clean. So frustrating.
I went through his phone and found telefon numbers about takeout food for Thai and Chinese..., funny he never eats oriental food with me...? Wonder where he takes the takeout food to? If you manage to get through the denial you know where to.
Anyway, yes it is my retirement that is coming up. Now down to 8 month. Some light at the end of the tunnel.
How are you doing? It would be nice to stay in touch.
Hugs, Kerstin