I would greatly appreciate any advice on what my next step should be!
Background: I have been married for over 20 years, I discovered last year my husband was having an affair. He told me it wasn’t sex, but messages I had seen told a different story. When I first learned of his betrayal, he swore he would end it. I believed him, needless to say, I learned again a few months later they were still communicating, again, he swore he would end it. Time passed, medical issues (him) occurred and I learned again it wasn’t over and again he swore he would end it and one last time he didn’t, again I learned they were still talking. I have forgiven him four times, took care of him through 2 major medical issues all the while he was having an affair. He again swears it is completely over, but my trust is 100% gone. My close friends and family, some of his as well all say I should leave him. Deep down I know I have to, but first, is it wrong of me to leave knowing his medical condition will only worsen and I do not think it should fall on our children to have to take care of him. Second, I am currently in school, almost done, and plan on leaving once I graduate and get a few other things completed. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
It sounds like a divorce would be appropriate. Now if you are concerned about his health, you don't have to stay married just for that. You can divorce him and still choose to help him some if needed so that it doesn't all fall on your children. You can choose to do as much or as little as you want to in that regard.
I think sometimes people have to live with the consequences of their choices and actions. If he ends up alone and in poor health, it sounds like he made that bed himself.
Kelly,
Thank you for your advice. Yes, I agree, I do need to leave him. He swore that he ended things but I know he hasn’t, he treats me differently whenever he speaks to her. I am simply waiting until I graduate and know I can find employment, that will happen before the end of the year. Needless to say I am counting days. But, it is nice to get advice from someone who doesn’t know either of us, so thank you.