Thank you Diana, yes, I have considered seeing a counselor and need to do it. No clue where to start to find one but I guess that's not an excuse. It's so exhausting. I'm sorry for your situation too. It's almost more painful to realize that they would rather "keep you" than get divorced and let you be happy. I have no interest in having a legally obligated roommate for the rest of my life. Best of luck to you too.