Womans Divorce Forum

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Re: Questions ?

I think it would be important to find the answer to why you don’t like him anymore . 30 years is a big investment in your time. I had 43 years of wasted time. I never really felt much about my husband at first. He didn’t really change that much. I just finally looked at him as a partner and it wasn’t pretty. Wasn’t long into the marriage I realized he wasn’t really a very nice person

Re: Questions ?

Hello Lily
I do not like the way he treats other people sometimes by yelling and being disrespectful and also sometimes I feel lonely in this relationship.
He even mistreat his 80 years old Dad by yelling at him instead of respecting his Dad at that age .
I had thoughts of giving up …
I love him but I do not like him 🫤 and something I feel he does not like me too

Re: Questions ?

I thought love could conquer all, but after an on going affair my husband had, I came to realize after forgiving numerous times (4 times) I just can not continue with the suspicion of him continuing to turn to the other woman. Is your husband hiding his true self to you? Or is he hiding his true self to others? I think it says volumes if he disrespects his father. As for being lonely, I am extremely lonely, but I have filled that void with hobbies, school and other friends until I am ready to leave. Good luck!

Re: Questions ?

Hello Diana
Thank you for replying
About 12 yrs ago he had an emotional affair to a lady We both know …he talked about our problems to her and I forgave him and he said than that nothing happened .
but my guts says that he did not sleep with her maybe I am to naive to think this way, but they did go out at times before I found out. She is about my age too.
I do not know if this considered Cheating.


Re: Questions ?

Melanie,

Emotional affairs are still cheating. He turned to someone else when he should have talked to you. He turned to someone else to console him, he should have turned to you. My husband said there wasn’t sex involved either, but texts between them painted another picture. I lost all trust in my husband, he swears it’s over, but I just don’t believe that he won’t turn to her again. I know it takes time to trust again, but in the past when I even remotely started to trust he again broke it, so in essence time has bitten me in the butt more than once. I don’t mean to be the negative one, but if he’s done this before, chances are he will again, just be careful and safe and do not let your guard down. Best of luck

Re: Questions ?

Speaking only from my experience: my husband changed over time and seemed to be at war with something or someone. First it was his mom, after she kicked him out at 18 for his reckless and his disrespectful behavior. Then it was his Step-Mother for ‘controlling his dad’. Next it was with Volvo corporation- the car company was purposely not allowing the car’s computers to record errors or problems with the car. Next, it was my employer - he tried to have me fired because he was convinced I was going to kill myself because the job made me so unhappy. When they called the police and they came to do a well check on me, and I cooperated and explained what happened, he then was convinced my Supervisor and CEO had brainwashed me & turned me against him. I tried to have him committed and he never forgave me for it. After that, he opened a credit card in my name and his it for 3 years, until I tried to refi the house - he couldn’t understand why I was so upset. Followed by a fight with our HOA over the new roof that resulted in a lien being filed against our home, his dad and I cleaned up that mess. Not too long ago, he tried to have his father declared incompetent so he could file elder abuse charges against his step-mother because she wouldn’t allow him to live in their rental apartment ( he was squatting there without their permission). Over time, I found his behavior to be less and less respectable. He became less and less attractive to me and that effected the more intimate parts of our relationship. So while I loved him for many years, I stopped liking him and could no longer condone his behavior. I asked him to leave in June 2022. It was scary and upsetting, and I do grieve the loss of the early years of our marriage - before the behavior changes. However, our son and I are healing in small ways and are happier. Sending good vibes and support to you (via an Internet forum).