Emotional affairs are still cheating. He turned to someone else when he should have talked to you. He turned to someone else to console him, he should have turned to you. My husband said there wasn’t sex involved either, but texts between them painted another picture. I lost all trust in my husband, he swears it’s over, but I just don’t believe that he won’t turn to her again. I know it takes time to trust again, but in the past when I even remotely started to trust he again broke it, so in essence time has bitten me in the butt more than once. I don’t mean to be the negative one, but if he’s done this before, chances are he will again, just be careful and safe and do not let your guard down. Best of luck
Speaking only from my experience: my husband changed over time and seemed to be at war with something or someone. First it was his mom, after she kicked him out at 18 for his reckless and his disrespectful behavior. Then it was his Step-Mother for ‘controlling his dad’. Next it was with Volvo corporation- the car company was purposely not allowing the car’s computers to record errors or problems with the car. Next, it was my employer - he tried to have me fired because he was convinced I was going to kill myself because the job made me so unhappy. When they called the police and they came to do a well check on me, and I cooperated and explained what happened, he then was convinced my Supervisor and CEO had brainwashed me & turned me against him. I tried to have him committed and he never forgave me for it. After that, he opened a credit card in my name and his it for 3 years, until I tried to refi the house - he couldn’t understand why I was so upset. Followed by a fight with our HOA over the new roof that resulted in a lien being filed against our home, his dad and I cleaned up that mess. Not too long ago, he tried to have his father declared incompetent so he could file elder abuse charges against his step-mother because she wouldn’t allow him to live in their rental apartment ( he was squatting there without their permission). Over time, I found his behavior to be less and less respectable. He became less and less attractive to me and that effected the more intimate parts of our relationship. So while I loved him for many years, I stopped liking him and could no longer condone his behavior. I asked him to leave in June 2022. It was scary and upsetting, and I do grieve the loss of the early years of our marriage - before the behavior changes. However, our son and I are healing in small ways and are happier. Sending good vibes and support to you (via an Internet forum).