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How to leave unhappy marriage

Hi ladies,

I just need some advice. I have been married 25 years. Have 2 teenage kids and last few years our marriage has been up and down. Due to hubby drinking this lead to almost separating many times.

Anyway, fast forward and I'm.still with him. Even though he has significantly reduced alcohol, the fights we still have to this day are still about booze.

I'm miserable and want to escape. But how....he has said many times if I want to leave him I need to get out.how do I find the courage to do this and where to go. Do I find a rental then tell the kids and him. I am paralysed with fear.
I would like to know what others did to get out.
Thank you all xx

Re: How to leave unhappy marriage

Hi Cynthia
When l left my ex, I took my daughter: who’s in her twenties with me. The first night we stayed in a hotel: then we stayed at friends till l found a place to rent (about 2-3 weeks). If you have good friends: I would recommend this, it helps to get support and your kids will know them.
You will find you are stronger than you think x

Re: How to leave unhappy marriage

Thank you,

I just couldn't stay with friends, family live an hr away. Im scared to rent as I am nervous if I struggle financially,and even if I do find a place how do I pack etc....do I tell.him the kids then pack. Packing is a huge task though. the whole thing is so overwhelming 😳 this is why I have been stuck and lost.

Re: How to leave unhappy marriage

Hi I am finally leaving my marriage after 42 years. I don’t know my future. I am scared But after a long life with a man who drinks I can’t take it anymore. I am really just looking for someone going through this too

Re: How to leave unhappy marriage

Hi Pat

Thx for your comments. I would love to hear how you have been feeling and how you made the exit. I really wish you all the happiness.

Leaving can be scary especially when you have no where to go.
Hubby drinking over 20 years 18 months ago, he was was trying to get sober. Lasted 2months. Ever since then he tells me I should give him credit as he only drinks 2 cans fri and sat. But, he can't see these cans still affect him and I hate it. He won't accept the fact that alcoholic is for life and moderation never works.

Re: How to leave unhappy marriage

Hi!
I just made the decision to leave my 20 year marriage. Except I'm not leaving. I told him I want a divorce.
He is angry and avoiding me. I am being as nice as I can because I have a 13 year old son.
I told him we can take some time but he will need to move out.

Re: How to leave unhappy marriage

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Re: How to leave unhappy marriage

If he is not violent I would make a plan, stay a little longer until you can save some money or get a better job, slowly look into apartments that can be affordable that way it can be a slow transition. Once you have your own place tell him you have decided to leave and there is nothing that will hold you back. I am in that transition myself and will move to my own place in a week.

Re: How to leave unhappy marriage

Thanks Maria.

Thx for your advice, sounds like a plan
I guess my fear is telling the kids.19/16 how this will affect them. This is the only reason I have stayed. Don't want to hurt them and distrupt their lives. But I will take I slow and hope I find something soon

Re: How to leave unhappy marriage

I completely understand. It's so hard to impact the kids. My son is 13 he is the only reason I haven't asked for a divorce sooner.
We go thru a cycle about every 4 years where we almost get to the point but I won't draw the line because of our son and he would never leave on his own.
Something just got me this time. I feel like I can't do this another 20 years. I have to follow through this time.
I think the kids will struggle but are old enough to understand and will adjust just as we will.