Even though you were the one who left you are suffering a great loss. Grief has its own time table which isn’t the same for everyone. I found therapy helped me with medication I took temporary. Most communities have divorce support groups. Do the things that make you happy. Soon you will grow to appreciate your freedom. You will get through this. You are building a new life for yourself. Make it a full and happy one.

Thank you. Am trying to get into long term therapy. I take meds when i cant manage the anxiety. I just cant get over sometimes how unbearably strong the pull is to go back though. Leaving my ex feels like going through withdrawal from a toxic drug. Not that i’ve ever done drugs. But man this is awful. I’ve cut off all communication and deleted my social media. Its akin to going cold turkey i think. Not saying it is the fastest way to begin to recover. But maybe the healthiest? Everyone says to give yourself time. And i know everyone is different. Just wish i could ballpark the amount of time that i might begin to feel better. I journal which helps. And i have a good support team. I just, at times, feel like i’m drowning.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things for yourself. It is the alone time that lets your mind go there. Just stay as busy as you can and wear yourself out a little so you can sleep at night. The time will come sooner than you think and you won’t care anymore.