Womans Divorce Forum

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Tired of being in limbo

I have been married to my husband for 11 years and I always thought we had a perfect marriage but something wasn’t right. We hardly had sex and he rejected and neglected me for 4 years then told me he was addicted to porn. We went to some counseling but he said he would stop and I stupidly believed him. Another 4 years goes by and things still aren’t right and I find out he never stopped looking at it and it escalated tho he said he never had an affair. He lied to me all that time. That was 3 years ago and we went through extensive porn counseling and separated for awhile and then he moved back in. Things were better for awhile and I had hope but we’ve had so many talks and now he won’t go to counseling for himself to fix his issues to help ours. The problem is I still love him but I’m not happy and I don’t think he’s trying enough. I’m heartbroken because he has so many wonderful qualities but I still don’t feel he desires me very much and we’re more like friends. I also have anxiety and panic disorder and almost left him a few months ago and then freaked out and couldn’t do it. I’m trying to be strong but it is so hard.