I have been married for 3 years to my husband. We were together 13 years before we decided to get married. I was very hesitant to get married because I was afraid he was going to change. Afraid that he would be controlling and all that other stuff just because he was my husband now. Also he was now a regular church goer so in the congregation's eyes and according to the bible we were living in sin. Yes we have 3 kids together. Fast forward 3 years into the marriage Im looking to get divorced. Im not happy. Nothing has changed. I am tired, frustrated and annoyed that I was fooled into getting married. I am taking care of all household chores, kids and bills. The jobs he has had usually only last a year before he is laid off because of lack of work from company. He acted like a total jerk when I had to go out of state to attend a family member funeral. He said I planned that trip to meet up with a ex boyfriend to have sex which never happened. There are so many other scenarios but this was the one that made me decide I don't want to be in this marriage anymore. Each day that goes by I just feel miserably. I envision just taking my kids and leaving him alone. I just want to be happy again.
It’s interesting that even before marrying him, you were reluctant, despite already having been together for 10 years at that point. I’m guessing therefore, that he’d already shown behaviours towards you that made you wary of him?
Life is too short to be miserable/unhappy. It sounds as if he used gas-lighting against you regarding when you had to go out of town I.e- He made a ridiculous accusation against you, which then compelled you to have to try to protest your innocence. A no-win situation for you.
Maybe start doing some research about how you’ll manage financially, accommodation-wise and legally if you leave the marriage. Where will you live? Do some fact-finding and use this time to start gathering ‘evidence’ of all your individual and joint assets and debts-to prepare for divorce. Once the other spouse gets wind of the fact you’re considering leaving the marriage, things can turn ugly, quickly. So use this interim time to plan, organise, seek legal and financial advice.
Thank you. I will be fine since I've been taking care of the bills and made more money than he did. When he was working he did the bare minimum and didn't help around the house. I would have to ask if I needed him to do something. Odd thing is when he did accuse me of cheating he would bring up 'divorce' but has yet to file. He would tell me if I didn't stop sleeping around he would divorce me. My reply 'go right ahead'. I still plan on filing the paperwork as soon as I can gather up enough money and I will take it from there because I know he is going to make this very difficult.