Hello Everyone
I am still in the process from a divorce which is not final yet…it has been one year that I filed for divorce because of his controlling ways, arguments that never ends in peace, he told me piece of **** , your are a stressful person , he always want to be right etc… he had hurt my feeling by saying this to me. The only time we text is if there is any business related questions nothing else.
During our marriage (our marriage lasted for 30 years) he was already sick and he texted last week telling me that he is very sick and still getting a lot of tests done to find out what is going on with him and it is very serious .
He hurted me by calling me names and I have not responded to his text wishing him well.
Am I doing the right thing by not responding ?
Other times he had invited to lunch or dinner via text just for a get together and I also haven’t not replied .
Why can’t he just understand that I do not want to be in his life anymore???
After I filed for divorce I found out after 6 months I heard him talking to a friend of us that he has feelings for her , which I would never thought that he and her had communicating with each other before , even though my friends noticed something fishy was going on between them . (He had an emotional affair with someone else also and I decided to separate and later forgave him even though he said that nothing happened it happened 12 years ago)
When I filed for divorced I just walked out from the house and filed without telling him because of the way he would react with his unpredictable tempers.
What do you think.
Thanks
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If the boundary you’ve put in place to keep him at arms length means you feel safer, then he has to respect this. You’re under no obligation to communicate with him. He could be trying to entice you/guilt you into communicating with him again. On the other hand, he might be experiencing feelings of loss-as you were in a relationship for a long time and left quite suddenly. He may even be experiencing depression. The fact that you’ve described him as being controlling and abusive however, indicates that perhaps keeping your distance is better for you. Does he have other family and friends who can support him through his ill health instead of you?
Hello Kaz
He does have a sister that have a husband that is sick too.
He does not have friends but I have seen his handiman taking care of him such as taking him to the doctor , doing errands , taking care of the dogs etc…
Since my ex is well financially I have told my Brother (without my ex knowing that I suggested) to suggest a 24/7 care to have it as a companionship.
Have a good day and stay safe !
Thank you for help