Womans Divorce Forum

Discuss your troubles, compare ex's, offer suggestions, and share stories!

Womans Divorce Forum
Start a New Topic 
Author
Comment
Going through a divorce now

I am going through a divorce now after 35 years marriage
I am the one that filed for divorce because of his controlling and manipulative personalities and the anger even worst .
He has not threatened me during the divorce or before but….
He has been sending me texts saying he is very weak and he has been in the hospital and now he is under the doctor care and and a nurse is coming at his house twice a week etc…
(He was sick before the divorce and he was able to take care of himself without my help ) and he is sending photo of himself to my brother with tears in his eyes .(which they still comunícate with each and I don’t mind)

Why he keeps texting me if he knows is over and I am not going back to him even as a friend ?

The only people that he has been relying now is the few friends that he have (to prepare meals , take care of the dogs etc…)

Is it my responsibility to take care of him?
Why is he telling this to me?
I have not responded to any of his texts

Re: Going through a divorce now

Hi Colleen,

If your husband has manipulative and controlling tendencies then most probably what he is doing right now is just another mind game of his. He will attack your kindness and vulnerability and use them to his advantage to control you yet again. Narcissists hate it when they lose power over someone and only discard their victims when they have found someone else to control and break. You are under no obligation to care for him since you have filed for divorce and are separated from him. However, if you think that you are now very clear about your boundaries and nothing will change your mind then you can be the bigger person here and look after him simply out of generosity.
Hope this helps. More power to you!

Re: Going through a divorce now

Ditto what what ZH said.

He is trying to manipulate you. Don't fall for it!
Stay strong and only make the decisions that you choose, not what he is trying to guilt you into.

Good luck!
Kelly