It’s so scary to read the situations that men put us in and how so many use control to prevent us from leaving and break our confidence down. I’m still in the ‘I want to divorce but can’t quite seem to do it’ stage because I feel sorry for my husband if I left him and how lonely his life would be (even though he’s made it that way).
I encourage you to have a free consultation with a divorce lawyer and see if they can help you make a plan, also individual counselling for yourself to build your confidence up, they can also help you make a plan to leave.

Hello,
While I can't tell you what is right for your situation, I can say that I have played the same mind games with myself over my marriage over the past 4 years. I know that I am not treated well (many of the same behaviors you described - everything is my fault, I am stupid, I am not a good wife, I need to be "corrected", I need to be "submissive", I have treated him badly, get yelled at whenever I disagree with him, I could go on...). No physical abuse, but feel bullied, manipulated, miserable from his mental and verbal abuse, and if I try to defend myself and it just makes him more angry. I have been anxious and sad and not myself for years. We have discussed divorce for years and I was always afraid, mainly because of my children, but now that we are starting the process, I feel relieved and almost happy. We have agreed on almost everything and now I am starting to look forward to a life without all the daily stress and drama and just being happy.

I guess my takeaway is listen to yourself. You know in your heart what is right for you. Don't let outside voices confuse you.