I'm a few months into my divorce, we are still living together and it's been hell on earth for me. Every day I put on a brave face in front of the kids and don't talk about what a royal ass their dad is being to me.
But with friends I would like to vent and talk about how challenging he is making it. But they say "that it's private" and only my business. I think it's because many of them want to still continue to be friends with him. Only because their husbands are. But it's an awfully lonely feeling. I feel like I've been abandoned and that every day I do the hard work of managing a house and raising a family while he is "winning" all of my friends on top of everything else that is happening with the lawyers. It's like I'm good enough to car pool their kids around but not enough that I'm the one being invited on nights out.
I don't know where to turn to find love or support. Somehow every day feels harder and more isolating then the day before it. I know that someone who hasn't been through it can't realize how stupid or insensitive their comments are. But I too am human and it hurts, so so much.
I am sorry you are going through this. My ex- husband and I divorced four years ago. He was very verbally and emotionally abusive. When I filed it shocked him and he finally went for the counseling and medication that he needed. The divorce was amicable, although he didn't want it, he didn't give me trouble about it.
But we still do things/parties with our friend group who were all college friends of his. It is difficult that I can't talk to any of the girls about my situation. I have found it odd that not one of them have even brought it up with me and when i try to I'm shut down quickly.
I've worked on building a friend group for myself that has nothing to do with my ex- husband. We need girlfriends that we can talk to. I know it is hard, but try to find friends outside of this group!