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Re: Anxiety/Panic when thinking of ex

Thank you. I think I do have ptsd. When I think of going back the anxiety spikes to uncontrollable levels. I know I can’t go back. For my mental health I can’t go back. So why am I constantly thinking of it? I know I made the right decision. But I feel like I’m going through withdrawal. I miss my home. But I can’t go back. Nor can I afford it.

The anxiety/panic are horrific. I’ve never had anxiety like this before. It is like a monster that has decided to take over. Is this normal after leaving..

I know it’s only been 2 months. I need more time. But I don’t know how to manage the anxiety. I wake up in a jolt from sleeping. I feel on edge all the time. There are some times when I am calm. I walk. I do breathing exercises. I talk to friends and family. Am desperately waiting to get into some kind of therapy.

Thank you for your support

Re: Anxiety/Panic when thinking of ex

You have done the hard part leaving. Going’s back should not be a option. If you haven’t filed or gotten legal advise do that right away. I had 3 years of therapy. The breathing exercises really can help you. It is hard because everything changes overnight. But as time goes by you will find it changing for the better. You will have another home that will be peaceful and what ever you choose to make it. Most states are community property states which gives you half of everything acquired durning the marriage. Hold on you can do this. I filed three times durning my 43 year marriage and each time I vacated the divorce. I greatly regret the years I wasted trying to work it out. As time went by it got worse. Stick with this you can do this.Stay strong.

Re: Anxiety/Panic when thinking of ex

Sadly, this is definitely normal (especially the PTSD suggestion).

In the book "20 Years Gone" by amateur author Dorian Wright (available at Amazon and Google Books), they recount the experiences that they had while discovering their ex's alternate life, and the toll that it took on the author both during the discovery, and, after.

Alot of the pain does start to fade over time, but sadly, alot of the triggers remain. It's managing those triggers that, in my opinion, are key. For example, anniversary or birthday dates of the ex- it helps to do something fun for yourself, or buy something for yourself, on those days, to help put them behind you.

Most people who got married invested 100% of themselves in their significant other. And when that person is gone, it's hard to just edit them out of your life.

Keep moving forward, remember that you are still healthy, and have life to live ahead. Take trips. Watch new movies, listen to "The Message" on Sirius XM or even "Shine FM" if you have access to it. There IS a path forward!!