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Re: Feeling empathy at my Ex

Hi Merline,

Nice to connect with you here. I think these feelings of sympathy and guilt are natural after divorce especially if you and your ex-husband had a long run and made a family together. Women have a hard time getting over divorces and breakups because we become completely invested and fall madly and deeply in love with our partners. You may still be in love with him, despite the abuse he put you through and that's why you feel sorry for him. You were his primary caregiver when you were married; perhaps that's why you still feel obligated to look after his health and well-being. Yes, your children should still maintain communication with their father but then again, if he was abusive towards them too then it's quite natural for them to set boundaries. My advice will be to be civil and cordial towards your ex-husband whenever you talk and slowly accept that he chose this life for himself when he refused to change himself while he was married to you. Stay strong. Soon you will realize that it is much better to love him from a distance rather than be there for his every need. Practice self-love and prioritize your happiness now. Much love!

Re: Feeling empathy at my Ex

Hello ZH

I am not sure if I want to be talking to him after he treated me and I don’t like the way he is with me once he called me (Piece of Sh-t) (Dumb Sh-t) and when he was angry just because I did not listened to him ,he say to me (you Lucky to be alive) and I know he will not change and you cannot change a person either . How can I talk to him after he treated me this way?
Every time he texts me that he has been sick I just like to ignore him . I know it sounds harsh and cold as much as it hurts me I just can’t start talking to him . “sorry”
They are what they are .
he can be manipulative and I am afraid that I will go back and get stuck with him because I will fall for it once he starts controlling me into it, he can get angry if I say something to him and also not agreeing with him.
Unfortunately My kids never have a decent childhood because of his controlling ways, he even controlled their future by doing something they did not want to be :(
But now they are doing what they dreamed of :) and I am proud of them of not giving up on their dreams , they have told me that he is a sociopath , controlling person.
After I filed for divorce I heard that he was talking to a female friend that he has not done anything to me and he does not know Why I left him and he does not consider his kids anymore it”s my kids .
I do Thank you for responding 🤗

Re: Feeling empathy at my Ex

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