Womans Divorce Forum

Discuss your troubles, compare ex's, offer suggestions, and share stories!

Womans Divorce Forum
Start a New Topic 
Author
Comment
Screwed up-

Hello,

I am just starting the divorce process after being together for 28 years. He asked for the divorce and I gave in. We started out being in love for the first 3 years of our marriage. He told me that he was falling out of love with me. He was using the computer to talk up another girl who lived a bit away from us. The emails were explicit. Our fourth baby and I were in the room while he was doing it. He didn't care. We worked at it and rekindled our flame. With 4 mouths to feed we ended up making the decision one of us would have to stay home. Babysitters were too expensive. It was him- he couldn't budget but at least I thought he could watch our babies. He always spent most of his paychecks but not on our family. We ended up moving into a bigger home. Then he really got into World of Warcraft and he met his second girl.. This one was closer. He met her and they had relations. He videoed it. I took off my wedding band, gave it too him and threw him out of the house. he talked his way back in and gave me my ring back a year later. I worked alot of hours at my retail job I was almost never home. I finally got him to get a small job which he was let go from. When I got fired after 11 yearsjob, I went into depression. I was the only one making money towards the bills. I was also trying to go to school to get my degrees to make a better life. I had started that before I was let go and continued to push. i tried to get a loan modification on my house and did but they wanted more than my original payment. I couldn't afford it so we lost our home. My husband was making unemployment same as I and wouldn't help. Fortunately his friend had an extra home and we were able to make arrangements to live there. I got a new job but he was still unable to keep his lively emails to himself. He found yet another girl in Washington. I started thinking I probably deserve this. I am never home but I fought anyway. My kids were all just hitting teenagehood. We fought alot mostly about them. He started as a realtor- still didnt earn much and rarely applied anything to household expenses.Wanted me to thank him everytime he picked up anything. I still did most of the chores, thankfully my girls helped. Still working a retail job- working crazy hours. He told me he was lonely. I told him I needed help so I could get home once again. The economy we were in was not for single family incomes especially not four kids worth. he found a girl in Canada. Claimed she was his therapist. Still working hard. His mother died. entered a state of depression and started playing wow again. 6 days a week. His real estate business started picking up. He said he would pay the mortgage, things finally going in right direction? He starts telling me how he is 3 months behind but we are okay because him and his friend worked it out. My stomach churns. Business is good he says he hires an employee and starts taking over getting our taxes done. Too complicated for me he has three businesses for his real estate? kids start moving out. He says he cant afford the house payment because he has to get health insurance. I take it back- he fails to pay his insurance and I end up putting him on my health policy. he is not paying back into the family. Last kid is moving out. Announces he wants a divorce- tells all our kids and friends- then tells me. Says it is not about a girl. - that is why she is on his facebookpage.. I am tired and do not feel like fighting anymore. I worked so much to keep everything going. He was supposed to be taking care of me now.- didn't file three years of taxes. Didn't pay taxes he was supposed to because of his business. I feel screwed and don't even know where to begin. I haven't kept up on the relationships with my friends. Because it was always about my family him included. He always ate first.. I feel alone and lost.