My soon to be ex-husband and I have a couple who we are friends with. I have been friends with the woman since childhood and she married my husband’s cousin so these people were our closest couple friends/family.
My husband and I had been living overseas and are moving back during the divorce. I returned first and moved into our home. He just returned last week and while he has an apartment, it isn’t furnished yet. When my husband returned my female friend immediately contacted my husband and invited him to stay with the couple in their house. Am I out of line to feel hurt and upset about this?
I would have totally understood if my ex’s cousin had made the invitation but it was my old childhood friend who did and she told me this. She has also made comments about how she plans to set my husband up with other female friends to date and when I ask her why she would say that she says I should want that because it’s best for my kids if he remarries a nice woman. While this may be true, I am hurt that one of my best friends would want to do this. I am not at the point in my breakup that I am ready to want my ex to be happy although I know it is something to strive for.
I have always thought of my friend as MY friend first and my husbands friend second. I wouldn’t feel comfortable reaching out to her husband if the situation were reversed. While I do consider her husband my friend, I feel a stronger loyalty to my friend than to him.
Am I out of line for being upset by this? Does anyone who has gone through a similar situation have any advice?
I was reading along, thinking ‘ok, maybe the female friend is just trying to be supportive as he has no furniture currently in his apartment.’ But…..then I read “ She has also made comments about how she plans to set my husband up with other female friends to date…” OMG. That hun, is NOT a friend. You’re not even divorced yet! She’s aware you’re upset at the situation as it’s all still quite new and raw, yet said something completely insensitive :(
What a cow!
She seems to have an awful lot to say about her opinion on what should happen for your husband! Using language such as you ‘should want that’ and ‘it’s best for your kids’-is usurping your feelings and what you deem to be best for your children. She has no right to interfere and try to impose her opinions on your private lives.
Planning on hooking him up with nice’ women?! It sounds as if she’s already got someone in mind. That’s a definition of ‘bitch’ to me…
Drop her hun. She’s not a best friend. She’s an in your face interferer. Insist your kids meet with their father away from her home so she can’t potentially start getting all warm and fuzzy with them; lining them up to start meeting the friend she may have in mind for your ex.