6 months after we were married I found email messages that he was meeting with another woman at a hotel. He said someone hacked into his email. 5 months later I found another email via a different female.She lives in another state and is an ex girlfriend of his. She said she was told he was married. His response was whoever told her that was just trying to start trouble - that he was not married and he was waiting for her. I contacted her and told her he was married. He got angry. I told him he should have ended that relationship before we married. His response was (and angry) "you ended it for me!" I stayed for 11 more yrs hoping this marriage would work. Yes he kept cheating, kept denying it and began accusing me of cheating on him for 11 years and at least once a month. He is retired from a job that has contact w/ police officers / corrections officers / judges / lawyers.He has made my life hell. We don't have children together-we both have adult children from previous marriages. I began the divorce but he is making it very difficult.The only material thing we really have is the house of which he is living in. He threatened me at least 11 times w divorce - he would leave but always came back.When I finally had enough of living this way I left and got an apt...this way he could not 'come back.'He gets retirement and social sec. I still work and make good money.He is threatening to sue me for spousal support.If he gets it I will have to get a part time job along with my full time job in order to survive. I am 67--my body will not hold up to that much working. I'm just wondering if anyone out there has been in this situation in a divorce and if you can shed some light. He is the poster child for narcissistic behavior and can make the worse lie believable.
I guess it depends on the law where you live. Is he paying anything towards the house you both own that he’s living in? Why should he live there rent-free, if that’s what’s happening. I’d see a lawyer asap. All assets are usually considered as part of ‘the pool.’ He’s got 2 sources of income coming in. No offence, but at aged 67, you must be getting close to retirement? Your future needs therefore also need to be considered (financials/housing/medical bills etc).
He sounds awful. I’d look into ousting him legally from the home and selling it to divide up the proceeds, trying to get a proportion of his retirement and if there’s an option to (temporarily) reduce your hours/income so he can’t claim spousal maintenance, I’d think about doing that too. (Speak with a lawyer though, as I’m not a lawyer and am just hypothesising). Also-depending on the law where you reside-is there potential to sue him for emotional harm due to repeated cheating?!!!