Womans Divorce Forum

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Re: Feeling so depressed and I’m the one that wants out

I understand. I’m the same. I want out but I’m so depressed. I think it’s because even though the marriage is over for me, I’m still grieving it. It’s still a hard thing to go through even if it’s you that wants it.
I also feel depressed because I know my husband is going to be devastated once I file, but it’s just not working for me.
I posted below you, I can no longer handle his religious and political views and I can’t stand him trying to force me to believe the same views as him and not respect mine.
Can I ask your reasons for your divorces ? I guess I am having a hard time because even though I know it’s enough for me to divorce him, I still feel like I need a bigger reason.

Re: Feeling so depressed and I’m the one that wants out

Same boat here. I wanted the divorce. And I still do. And yet, I am grieving the loss of our family. For as much as I felt lonely in our marriage, our family unit was something I valued so much.

For me my biggest source of depression right now is being the cause of my children's pain and anger. My daughters will be 19 and 21 this month. They are struggling with their feelings and they are both angry at me. It feels brutal.

Re: Feeling so depressed and I’m the one that wants out

Can I ask how you told your husband ? That’s what I’m struggling with the most, and not knowing how he will react

Re: Feeling so depressed and I’m the one that wants out

I understand exactly how you're feeling. I've wanted to leave for so long, but don't know how to break his heart. Which is totally ironic because I have just about every reason to leave. He's had affairs after affairs, verbally abusive and controlling. He's trying to change but it's just too late. I want out, but don't want to hurt anyone. Our kids are grown and moved out. I feel foolish for not being able to just say it.

Re: Feeling so depressed and I’m the one that wants out

I am in the same place as the rest of you. I feel like I have finally made the decision, and have been suffering a migraine for three days now. I know it is the right decision, but just cannot bring myself to do it - to say it. Like many of you, I just can't bring myself to hurt him that way, even though for over 25 years he has hurt me and the kids (emotionally) and not given a care in the world. It is only now, when I asked for a separation, that he agreed to get therapy and is trying to change. I have been asking him for 25 years. How do I say this to him? What words do I use? Every time I see him he sobs and begs and pleads for me to give him a chance - I just don't have it in me any more. My kids are also grown, so I don't have to worry anymore about custody or any of that, thankfully. But breaking someone's heart will just kill me.

Re: Feeling so depressed and I’m the one that wants out

So many of us in the same boat. I’ve been married only 5 years (no kids, no assests) I paid my retainer fee on a lawyer and now my husband wants marriage counseling. I was all in to get out but he was just crying and I couldn’t find the strength to tell him I’m done. So I said yes to marriage counselling. I’m worried leaving him will completely destroy his faith in God. I’m not religious myself but he is a strong believer