Womans Divorce Forum

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Re: I am so lost and confused

I feel your pain. I divorced about a year ago because my husband was a liar and cheater too. I would never tell anyone what they should do since everyones situation is different. The second i found out i kicked him out. I could tell he still cared because he resisted but i didnt care about anyones feelings but my own at the moment. I was shocked to actually know what i had been fearing. Later i found out he had been cheating for years but i still loved him and wanted him back. Just because someone hurts us, doesnt mean love goes away. He moved out for almost a year and i still couldnt deal with what happened or refused to accept it. Whatever i was thinking, the only thing i knew for sure was that i wanted my family back together so i took him back. He promised me the moon and stars if he came back. I knew deep down it was a bad idea but again, i didnt care about anything else but having him back home. Well we went up and down through the relationship. I wont say it was one persons fault. The only thing that didnt change was his cheating. He kept doing it and now we are over again but this time by my choice. I tried accepting him faults and all but when people say to love unconditionally, that doesnt mean to put up with constant cheating or ANY cheating. If he TRULY, honest to God would stop cheating, i would take him back. I still love him and maybe he still loves me, but thats a kind of love i dont want. I dont know if i’ll get over the shock of this anytime soon. All i do know is that this too shall pass.

Re: I am so lost and confused

Hi Tammi,

I am sorry that you are going through this.
I divorced my husband after 23 years of marriage when I was 52. It was a hard adjustment at times. Some days I lay on my floor crying because I felt so alone and depressed, angry at how much time I wasted on him, angry at how he treated me, angry that "I could have had a happy marriage, but he ruined that for me."

But I will tell you that between those moments, I was so happy and relieved to be living on my own. I have my own home where I live in peace and quiet. I have had to work on building up my friendships and outside activities so I don't feel so alone - but I'm getting there.

It has been four years now, and I couldn't be happier! Those feelings of depression are gone, I just had to work through them.

Financially it took some planning, but I am receiving alimony, picking up extra work here and there. Any financial sacrifices I had to make are so worth it!!

you can do it!
Good luck!