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Sadness /divorce not final yet

I was married for 33 years and I filed for divorce 2 years ago because of his tempers and outburst , I could not handle him anymore. (It has been 2 yrs that I have not seen or answered his texts)
I just found out from his sister for the last 3 months he has been very sick, weak ,he lost a lot of weight and he is a candidate for a heart transplant and he needed to do a surgery to remove the gallbladder , after the doctor opened his intestine thinking that he had an blockage (there was not blockage) in the same time the Doctor took his gallbladder and since 1 week ago he has become unconscious.
Prior the surgery he used to text me saying that he is very sick and the doctor said is serious, I did not believe him because I thought he was lying just to manipulate me and take him back.(I feel very sad bad and guilty for not believing in him)
What would you do if you were on my shoes?
He is only 65yrs (during our marriage he has had an pacemaker that was placed 6 yrs ago)
I don’t know what to do !!!

Re: Sadness /divorce not final yet

I'm sorry to hear that he is so ill.

What do you want to do? Or what do you think you "should" do? It might be kind to go visit him or visit his sister and offer your support.

I don't think there is one right answer. It depends on what you are thinking are your options or what you could do.

Whatever you choose to do or not do, I think your choices are valid. But if he is at the end of his life, then acting out of compassion and kindness wouldn't be a bad choice.

Good luck,

Re: Sadness /divorce not final yet

Hi Kelly
Thank you for replying
Unfortunately my Ex passed away few days ago, doctors could not save him :((((
He was only 65yrs old
I was going to the Hospital visiting him and holding his hand even though he was unconscious.
I did whispered to his ears that I forgive him and love him so he can Rest In Peace 🙏
I was there till the end of his life holding his hands till he passed away :((((((
Why am I feeling guilty for not believing in him when he used to text me telling me he has been sick and I ignored his texts.?
I should have been there :(
Even though he did not deserve my love

How can I heal this pain that I am feeling ? 🙏
(Even though our 2 Kids did not seen him or talked to him either for the last 2 years , they also went to the hospital to visit him everyday.)

Re: Sadness /divorce not final yet


You are such a good person to have gone to see him! I'm sure he knew you were there and felt your forgiveness. I know you gave him peace before he passed.

God bless you and your children for offering kindness and compassion to him before he passed.

I wouldn't blame yourself for not answering his texts. I firmly believe that actions have consequences. His behavior and treatment of you resulted in you not wanting to connect with him or believe his messages. I don't think that is on you, but really on him.

You could not have changed the outcome of his illness and you offered him love and peace in his final moments. I don't think you could have done any more than that.

All the best,