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Re: Should I forgive ?

Hi,

I understand. My ex- was pretty awful during our marriage. After the divorce he has finally gone for therapy, is on appropriate medication, has apologized and is trying to "make it up to me" and "wants to reconnect and get back together."

We did go to counseling together and I went on my own. It did help me quite a bit, so I would recommend it.

I have forgiven my ex- although it is hard to "forget" I try not to dwell on the past and move forward.

I do not want to get back together with him. Like you, I separated myself emotionally from him long ago, mourned the relationship and mentally move on long before I filed for divorce. I do not choose to go back to that relationship, but we are able to be friends and parent our children together.

You can forgive him and work on maintaining a positive relationship, that doesn't mean you have to stay in the marriage. You can make that choice for yourself.

Good luck!
Kelly

Re: Should I forgive ?

Thank you Kelly. I’ve been in counseling for myself for almost a year now but couples counseling we have not tried yet, so I’m willing to give it a go.
I did over hear him talking to a friend of his at the weekend. Telling his friend that I am emotionally manipulating him. This definitely hurt to hear, I’m not trying to do that and I don’t feel like finally standing up for myself or my beliefs is emotional manipulation but I guess we will see what comes of the couples counseling. Ive Never threatened him with divorce to get what I want, I just don’t think that he likes that I am holding some of the cards now and he is having to compromise more.
I’m glad you found your happiness are were able to leave. I fear I will never be that brave to walk away from it.

Re: Should I forgive ?

Thanks.
Stay strong, don't waver from your choices or opinions because he is manipulating YOU. Of course he doesn't like it when you stand up to him or disagree with him.

I remember saying to my ex- repeatedly, that "just because I disagree with you, doesn't mean I'M wrong." Do what is right for you. You are not responsible for his feelings or reactions.

Good luck!
Kelly

Re: Should I forgive ?

Thanks again Kelly. Trying my best to get there and do the right thing for myself ❤️