My husband and I have been married 16 yrs, in each other’s lives for 23 yrs. We have 3 kids, all teens. We just went through a very tough last 15 mos. We had a miscarriage last year and continued to try for a year only to find out he had male infertility issues. We were told we needed ivf. I was obsessed with getting pregnant, I never properly dealt with my miscarriage. So when my husband told me he was done and no more kids it really hurt me. I refused to listen to him and ended up hurting him and ultimately pushed him away. When he told me he was leaving he said he thought it was the only way to get through to me. I was sick with Covid the day he moved out but he didn’t care. So a few weeks later he ended up telling me there is no hope and he is done completely. He does not want to come home and he wants a divorce. He says he feels dead inside and has no more fight to give and that all he wants to do is work, be with our kids and be alone. I am gutted! How can he want throw away all these years and memories together? We had so many visions and dreams for our future and now they are all gone within a matter of a few weeks? He even told our kids this is it. He still wants to see them and spend time with them but they are just as confused as I am. I want this to work and continue to pray for God to open his heart again and realize what he is giving up. My reactions the last few weeks haven’t been the best from pleading to weeping to having a scowl on my face anytime he is around. I know, all unhealthy. And I can barely eat or sleep. I have managed to join a new gym and that is somewhat a good stress reliever as well as reading scripture, talking to friends, counseling and journaling. I miss him like crazy but never hear from him and I always have to initiate contact. Should I just let go and accept or hold onto hope that he will come back after he cools down?
I think you can accept his decision now. Try to move forward with your life in a positive way. Try to establish/maintain a positive and constructive relationship with him.
I think showing that you respect his feelings and his choices would go a long way towards reconnecting. Begging him to come back communicates that you are more concerned with your feelings than with his. (that's how I feel when my ex- bugs me to get back together.)
You can hold on to hope, but work on establishing a positive relationship now. You can still spend time together with your family without being together.
Maybe you can reconnect, but it will probably take time. Be patient.