I am trying to be thoughtful because I know divorce is not what he wants, but I feel so emotionally disconnected from him now and I know I do not want to carry on with the marriage. I feel like I am becoming the toxic one, not communicating with him and shutting down and I don’t want to carry on putting him through it, but it’s also because I know I need to tell him I want a divorce and it’s just so hard, so I’m shutting down completely