I felt the same way. In the heat of an argument, he asked if I wanted a divorce. I thought about it for about a minute (which seemed like forever) and said yes I do. The reason it took me so long was that I knew if I said it I would not turn back. The unknown is scary. I'm glad I filed for divorce and moved out. I probably should have taken more of our assets than I did but I just wanted out. Once I moved out it was hard for me to go back to get anything I wanted because I did not want to be in that home any longer. I am still grieving the loss of the life I thought I would have had. But I also realize it was my fantasy that kept me there. Things were not going to change in fact they had gotten worse. My divorce has been final for about 2 weeks now. I had 29 years invested and I'm in my late 50's only regret is not doing it sooner. I'm still grieving and have my bad days. I really thought that when it was final we could have a conversation and remain somewhat friends ( civil to each other). My fantasy also. I tried calling and just clearing the air thinking it would make it easier for both of us. I started getting angry the minute I heard his voice. The lies will never stop. I can't even listen to what he has to say. I really thought it would bring me closure.
It didn't, but it did let me know that I am still going through some emotions that I need to deal with and learn how to forgive and move on. It's going to be tough at times but with god's help I will get through it.
Thank you for sharing your story Donna.
I am so glad you had the strength and have come through the other side and getting your life back together.
I have a couples counselling session on the 16th. My plan was to try and tell him there. I can already feel myself backing out. I’m going to try and work on learning to love him again. He says he loves me and isn’t going to give up on me and doesn’t want me to give up on him either. It’s hard, I admire everyone who is able to find the strength to do what is best for themselves and not stay out of guilt towards the other party